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Why Can't I Create The Life I WANT?

4/1/2014

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Are YOU living the ideal life you want to be living? Many people are not, but have never stopped long enough in the hustle and bustle of "surviving" to reflect on why this is.

We think if we work longer and harder it may be the solution. Very often, we slip into such a level of conformity, we don't even realize we are there. We see others around us doing the same activities, so we don't think to question it. However, one day we realize we are totally stressed out, burned out, unfulfilled, unhappy and ready for change. The question is....what does change look like?

This is different for everyone. The key is to understand that you do not find these answers by looking outwards and comparing yourself to what everyone around you is doing. You find the answers within your own heart, by getting fully authentic with yourself and being willing to ask yourself some tough questions and giving yourself honest answers.

A very productive way to go about this is to think forward 25 years. Take the time to really think about how you want to look back on your ideal life. If you could create anything you want, ideally what would that look like for you? Specific questions will be helpful to determine this.

-Do you have any regrets? - What would you change if you could? Take some time and reflect back over the last 5 years, or 10 years, depending on your age. Think about what you have accomplished. Are you where you thought you would be 5 years ago? Has anything change or moved you forward in the direction you thought you would be in right now?

-Realize that if you are not where you want to be, you are not alone. Most people in life keep doing the same things over and over and wonder why nothing ever changes. We see others following this same pattern, and therefore buy into the belief that "it's just the way it is...everyone is in the same boat". If you believe this, you have simply bought into that limiting belief of the masses in society. It is NOT the way it is, and everyone is NOT in the same boat. Ask yourself: Why hasn't anything changed for you? Is there anything you wanted to take action on and you didn't? Why not? How important is that in the pursuit of your goal? How can you implement this now?

-What's important to you? - Identify all the things that are most important and how that looks for you. For example if you are 30 years of age now, in 25 years you may be a grandparent....are you spending lots of time with your grandkids? Or maybe you are running a business, travelling the world, or donating your time to a meaningful charity organization. This can look different for everyone depending on your current age, background and what you actually want going forward.

-What steps are you taking now to create this? - Nothing happens without making bold decisions and taking action. So, what are you doing right now to make sure you are true to yourself in creating the ideal life you see in your future?

-What are you waiting for? People wait for the "time to be right" for many things in life, and in business. Very often, that "right time" never comes and when a person reflects back, they realize they did not live the life they wanted to live. They let excuses stop them. The reality is, there is never a perfect time. Successful people have learned to take bold action regardless, and learn through that process to take the next step as quickly as possible. It is through this action that solutions are very often revealed that you wouldn't have access to without taking the action steps that revealed them.

-Don't let FEAR stop you! Fear is one of the most common excuses used by a person who does not take the action steps necessary to realize their dreams. Successful people have all the same fears. The only difference is, successful people have learned to push through their fears anyway. The beautiful thing you discover in this process is that the fear is not real, and is created in the mind. Understand that if fear is created in the mind, the mind can also CHOOSE to override the fear and take action anyway. This is how you build your self esteem and confidence.

Creating the life you WANT to be living doesn't just happen. It is a result of being willing to get authentic with yourself, asking yourself tough questions, and then being willing to do what your answers reveal for you. It's the difference between living a life of mediocrity and conformity, or truly living the life you want to be living. It is a choice, and only you can decide to make the choice.


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    Debbie Ruston - Entrepreneur - International Trainer, Visionary Leader

    Taking an active stand for true human potential. 

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