Many years ago I found myself working harder and harder and not getting the results I wanted. I got to the point where I realized I couldn't physically work any harder, but more importantly, didn't want to. Sound familiar?



This was a great lesson that I have been able to apply to all aspects of my life. I also learned that everyone and everything is our teacher. The key is to be open to the messages as they present themselves, and implement the knowledge you gain.

A powerful distinction to be aware of is:

WHERE YOU ARE TODAY, IS A RESULT OF YOUR BEST THINKING.

In order to grow in a new or better direction, you must continue to learn, and, be willing to let go of the best thinking that brought you to this point.....

Let's look at a couple of examples:

In that situation I was working about 80 hr/wk. I was tired, I was frustrated, and I was burning out. My belief was that if I just worked harder (which we are conditioned to believe is the solution), it would give me the result I wanted. However, I couldn't work harder, and didn't want to keep this pace up. It was only when I came to this realization, that I also realized my very best thinking was NOT working. This can be demotivating, or, actually inspire you. When you authentically admit to yourself your best thinking isn't working, you also open yourself up to new possibilities. This is where the lesson comes in - learn from those that are getting the result you want.

I had a conversation recently with someone struggling with their career. They were doing the best they knew (best thinking). What they hadn't considered was learning from a mentor, asking better questions, learning and implementing new ideas, leaving their old thinking behind, and being willing to embrace new ideas and principles. You could physically see the difference this made when this individual gained this new hope.

Several years ago, I had a conversation with someone that was concerned about their employment. At that time, their best thinking was they would be at the company until they retired (this was 20 years prior to retirement age). When the threat of downsizing became apparent, it brought out a new side of this person I had never seen. They decided to buy a business and create their own job security instead of being a "victim" of downsizing. This person is thriving personally, happier than they have ever been and thriving in this business. They decided to let go of their previous "best thinking" which was I need to have an employer and stay there until I retire because I can't do anything else at my age. They replaced their previous "best thinking" with a new way of thinking....a more SELF RELIANT way of thinking. "I am going to buy a business since my job is being eliminated". Such a simple shift in thinking, but has changed everything in a positive direction for them.

Another person I spoke to recently has a business, but it is very physical work. They are very experienced in this field and we talked about the knowledge they have that is very valuable in their industry. They have now found a new way to work that is branching out of their existing business, and utilizing the knowledge base they have to grow their business. Like the experience I had, they realize it isn't about working physically harder. It is about learning to think differently to bring about a different or better result.

As Einstein said...."The definition of insanity is doing the same things, expecting different results"

WHY Is This Important? What is potential? It is defined as "capable of becoming". We are all born with it....so why do so few reach it? There's a DANGEROUS spot where many reside.....called the Comfort Zone.

Many that reside in the comfort zone, belief this is safe. Many would also believe there is little to no risk inside the comfort zone, and believe they have "security" there.



Those in the comfort zone believe:

If you stay within your comfort zone you don't have to work as hard.

You don't have to challenge yourself.

Your don't have to learn new things.

You don't have to do things that you are unsure of.

Although some of these would be accurate (don't have to learn new things, challenge yourself or do things you are unsure of) in many cases staying in the comfort zone will actually require you to work harder because you are struggling. Struggling to keep anything from changing. However, change in life and in business is constant. If we are not growing and changing, we will struggle to maintain.

The problem with the comfort zone is it is like a drug that keeps us stuck. Those within the comfort zone don't realize the negative effect of it.

It leads you to just "surviving" and struggling to do so.

You may feel stressed over lack of results.

You may have a feeling of helplessness.

You may feel you are a victim of circumstances.

You don't have anything that excites you.

Life is dull.

You are unmotivated.

Others you care about may outgrow you.

Ask yourself, do you want to stay stuck just surviving in the comfort zone, or, do you want to take a step outside of what's comfortable to create more freedom in your life?

Taking a step out of the comfort zone is not as hard as most would imagine in their minds. Look at the X at the center of the diagram in the photo. This is where you are right now. To take a step outside of where you are right now, you must make a DECISION to do so, regardless of any fear or nervousness you may experience. So often people wish and hope and sit on the fence and can't decide on things. If you want to start living into more of your full potential, you must learn to make powerful decisions that lead you towards your goals, and then stick to those decisions, even if you feel fear. This is a temporary feeling that disappears when you take action, but you will not actually understand this until you take the action and can look back with your new perspective. Ask yourself if you want to spend your life in fear, struggling to stay "safely" in the comfort zone, or if you want to rid yourself of this feeling? Taking one small step outside of the inner circle expands the circle and makes it bigger, as demonstrated with the next X. Each time you do this, as you can see, the circle gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

The great thing you will experience is that although it can be scary to take that first step, once you do, you prove to yourself what you are truly capable of. This builds your self esteem and your confidence, and gives you the courage to do it again. When you do this continually and look back 6 months, 1 year, 5 years later, you won't believe how much you have grown, and also how stuck you were previously. You will feel more free than you ever thought possible.

Write down one small step you could take to step out of your comfort zone today. Regardless of how small it is, realize you have just widened your circle of comfort. Each time you have the courage to do this, that comfort zone will keep expanding. It's up to you to decide how far you will grow.....

WE HAVE ALL heard this phrase from reading Dr. Seuss books.  How many actually took these words to heart and live them daily in their lives?

I know of a young man living these words.  He works in a bank.

When he started at the bank, he started part time as a teller, and wanted to move up.  He studied the company training manual on his lunch hour and after work.  He spent the first year working in 5-6 different branch locations, going wherever he was needed.

He volunteers to fill in for employee’s that are sick or on holidays by driving to different cities to fill in for them.  Whenever there is a need to be filled such as this, he is the first to volunteer to go.

He volunteers to represent his company at community charity events, by attending on his days off, getting up and speaking to the crowd about the company he represents.  He does this to practice his public speaking to become more comfortable, as well as a way to give back to the community he lives in.

I saw a picture in our local newspaper of volunteers at one of the events.  He was the only one, out of about 40 in the picture that was dressed up….everyone had t-shirts and casual pants on, he was in a suit because he wanted to professionally represent the company he works for.  He stood out, not because he is 6’4″ and towered above everyone in the picture, but because he has this vibrant positive personality, great smile, and was dressed the part of who he is portraying.

He wears a suit and tie every day to work, even though it is not expected.  On dress down day when everyone is wearing jeans, he wears a pair of dress jeans, shirt, tie and jacket.

It may seem like he is a more mature worker, however, he is 25 years of age.   He does all of this not because he has to, because he wants to.  He is going the extra mile because he understands this principle…why fit in when you were born to stand out.  It is no surprise he is excelling at his career, and was promoted to assistant branch manager after the first year.

Clues for success in life and in business are all around us in everything we do.  Many times, these clues seem so simple they are overlooked.  Pull out a Dr. Seuss book, and share a quote that may have inspired you that other’s may have missed…..

Do you have a tough time with decisions? We hear, or say, things like "I'm not sure what to do, or which way to go". We seek the advice and/or approval of those around us in order to make decisions and many do not have the confidence to make a decision without checking with someone else. Have you ever wanted to make a decision to go a certain direction but upon checking with someone else you took a totally different path because you found more confidence in the other persons opinion than your own? You don't need a crystal ball or a guru....you have the answers within your heart.

If you find yourself changing direction or not following through on what you want, this should be a "red flashing" warning light for you, and where many people steer wrong, and wonder why they are not feeling happy, fulfilled or successful in their lives. The reason is, you do not feel you are in control. You are living your life by someone elses agenda, ideas, rulebook or definition. Trusting your gut (or intuition) is vitally important for success. Our intuition is there to guide us in the right direction. The error many make is letting their heads get in the way of where their hearts are guiding them. This shows up in different ways, however, there are solutions that will help you get around it and become more proficient in your decision making.

-Someone close to you advises you to make a different decision - This is one of the biggest reasons people do not make effective decisions. Ask yourself is this person experienced in this particular area? Do they have the results in their own life to give them credibility in giving you advice? Thank them for their kind concerns, but understand they are not qualified to advise you.

-You are on the fence and don't know what way to go - Ask yourself what will change if you do make the decision, and what will change if you don't. You will most likely determine nothing will change if you don't make the decision. That is a sign to reassess if you want a new or different result. Nothing changes by continuing on the same path doing the same things, while expecting a different result. As Einstein said, this is the definition of insanity. You can also look at the reason you are hesitating - is it from fear or limiting beliefs, or are you allowing #1, someone close to you giving you advice and you are not trusting yourself?

-You feel anxious, worrying you will make a mistake - Stop looking for guarantees. We have the answers within our hearts. Trust yourself and then pull out all the stops to go forward in the direction your heart is telling you.

-You put off making the decision - This comes down to trusting yourself. It is one thing to sleep on something to weigh all the options, it is another thing to procrastinate and stay on the fence. Not making a decisions one way or the other, is making a decision to stay stuck.

-You trust others opinions more than your own - How can anyone know more about what is right for you, than YOU? A great exercise is to journal...get your thoughts on paper and be willing to be totally authentic with yourself. Journal about what you truly want in your life and then be willing to ask yourself what you need to do to create it. Then, be willing to leave your fears, limiting beliefs, past conditioning behind, make a bold decision that supports what you want, and take the action steps necessary to create it.

-You base your decision on other people's failures - You have heard "stories" about this or that happening to someone else, very often THROUGH someone else. We CREATE our own realities. It does not matter if someone else had a bad experience with something. Learn WHY they did, and use that knowledge to go forward without falling into the same errors. Usually it is a lack of commitment, planning, making effective decisions, their own fears and limitations they have put on themselves that has caused them to fail. They are not YOU. Learn from things others have done that are effective, don't give in to the excuses those that have failed use.

Looking at all the options and then trusting your gut based on that information is a great combination for decision making. A simple question that will assist with this is "will this decision bring me closer or further away from my goal?" If it would bring you further away, you are making the wrong decision, quite often a fear based decision. This is the time to course correct, and make the decision that brings you toward your goal. This simple question was life changing for me. It allowed me to shine the light on errors I was about to make so that I could make a conscious decision to course correct.

Something important to recognize is that making bold powerful decisions and trusting yourself does not totally eliminate the feeling you may not know what to do, and may have fear associated with it. It is part of the process. What you will learn though, is that when you are willing to make these type of bold, courageous decisions, trusting yourself, and take the next step that supports your goal, you will figure it out along the way.

When what has been done in the past, isn't working, it's time to make different decisions and take different actions. As Einstein quoted, "doing the same things and expecting different results is the definition of insanity". Yet, this is exactly what many do....keep taking the same actions, doing the same things, making the same decisions, and wonder why nothing changes for them. Many believe "the way we've always done it", is a reason to keep doing something, even when it isn't working.



So, how does one come back from extreme adversity? When everything falls apart, there are TWO choices. Give into the adversity and become avictim of that adversity. The other choice, is to find seeds of opportunity within that extreme adversity to take a new innovative direction. We have all heard the phrase "when one door closes, another opens". Although most have heard this, those that play the victim role, can only focus on the closed door.

Most would be familiar with the economic situation that Detroit has been facing. Detroit is a great example of how to take the worst economic situation, and within it find new innovative opportunity. Detroit is setting many powerful examples of pulling out of adversity with new innovative solutions. One powerful example is within education. A charter school made up of innovative educators that are putting their hearts into making a difference to youth. Such a powerful example. As Ellen mentions, many of these children are poor and/or homeless. This is one of the most adverse situations anyone could be in, and would be very easy to accept the victim role. Because of vision, and caring educators, these children are beautifully clothed in uniforms, are excelling and beaming with authentic happiness. Take a look at this short video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BayG_CzpeFU

Another great example of seeing what many are resisting is in relation to business. Of course a massive number of individuals have been affected by the state of the economy and the closure of businesses that have been the main employment stream for many years. Through this adversity, Detroit sees the solution is entrepreneurship to create new opportunity and self reliance.

See article about what Detroit is doing:

http://www.freep.com/article/20140608/COL06/306070007/Tom-Walsh-innovation-district-Bruce-Katz-Brookings-Institution

Entrepreneurship is something that is often not considered through mainstreams "best thinking". Society is conditioned to play it safe, to need "security", and to not risk. What greater risk is there than putting your future in the hands of any employer, in a changed economy that no longer provides job security? Every single sector is being affected by this type of adversity. It's been stated that the work that will be done by today's youth, hasn't been invented yet. Detroit is coming back from adversity, and is leading the way by understanding the principle of finding opportunity within change and adversity. One of the greatest gifts we can give our youth, is to let go of the "best thinking" that brought us to this spot, and develop the mindset to be the CREATORS of their future through entrepreneurship, and not be the victim of a changed world. Well done to Detroit on walking the walk, and being the example.

I read an article recently, and there was a statement in the article that is the cause of many failed opportunities in all areas of life. "They cave in and join the herd".

"The herd" is the perceived"normal". The herd is the thinking that most in society have been conditioned to believe is the correct spot to be. If you think and take actions outside of the herd mentality, those within the herd question your thinking to such an extent, that it destroys your belief, confidence and personal certainty to move forward in a different direction.

Nothing happens within the herd. This is conforming to mediocrity, and in many cases, an example of an old saying, misery loves company. Society is conditioned to believe this is safe, when in fact, it is one of the biggest reasons people give up on the futures they truly want to create. You may have personally experienced this, or perhaps you have been a member of the herd that is holding someone back. How do you identify this?

-You have an idea and share it with someone important in your life - that person questions and squashes the idea to such an extent, you give up and don't pursue the idea, and conform back to "what is normal", or "traditional thinking". Although you have the agreement of others in the herd when you conform back, it doesn't feel right for you inside.

-You feel frustrated and a lack of personal control - people often feel unhappy and unfulfilled inside and can't identify why. Some may think they suffer from depression, and although that could be part of it, many times an individual is living their life by someone else's agenda. It may be working a job you don't like, spending time with people that you do not resonate with, or feeling like you don't have choice. This feeling of a lack of control in your life, leads to unhappiness, stress, anger, and feeling unfulfilled.

-Take a look at your life and your results - is it the same as everyone you know? Is it the way you want it to be? If it is the same as everyone you are surrounded with, and it's not what you want, it is a sign you are living in the herd.

-Are you guilty of holding someone else back? - has someone shared ideas with you and you have given them feedback on why it isn't a good idea? Perhaps someone you know wanted to go a new direction, start a new job, go back to school, write a book, end a relationship, start a business, get in shape, run a marathon, etc. If you feel you gave them advice that indicated they should not leave the "safety" of the job they hate, or the relationship that is abusive, or told them it's too late to go back to school because they have responsibilities, or it's too risky to start a business, or this is the way it is.....they have made their bed and now must accept it, then you are attempting to hold people back in the herd, because of your own insecurities. That may be hard to accept, but it is exactly what happens.

Once you identify if you are conforming to the herd, the next step is to learn how to take your own path.

-Surround yourself with new people that are supportive of the direction you want to take.

-Thank the "well meaning" people in your life that are giving you advice that does not resonate with the direction you want to take, and be willing to go against "popular opinion". Sometimes you have to love people from a distance to honor yourself and the new path you want to take.

-TRUST yourself. We have intuition for a reason. It is to guide us to make decisions that are right for our lives. The key is to trust and listen to this inner voice, and take the actions to support the direction you are being guided to take.

-Be willing to stand alone in your vision and know you will get negative feedback, it is simply part of the process that anyone that makes this choice does experience. Success is created by being willing to just push through it and not let it control or direct you. By being willing to take this stand for the life you want to create, you will meet and align with new people that see what you envision and will become part of your support system.

Listen and trust your inner voice. It is the key to breaking out of the herd and creating the life you truly want to be living.

HOW MANY TIMES have you been stalled in the action steps you should be taking because you are attempting to figure out every possible step and outcome in advance? A principle I learned is to always take the next step to bring you closer to where you want to be.

It is during this process that we often figure out the next step to take, as a result of something that may have happened during that process. For instance, we decide to contact someone as our next step and during the conversation with that person, you learn some valuable new information, that gives you a new step to take which you couldn’t possibly have known to take in advance. Sometimes, it is a course correction that you couldn’t have known to take, without this new information you gained from the last conversation.

As I have taken these steps consistently, I have often paused to look back and thought I couldn’t possibly have imagined these new steps would present themselves as opportunity. Some of the things that have happened have amazed me, and I didn’t imagine would have come along. Very often, I didn’t even know these new things I have come across existed until I got to that spot of learning and being introduced to the new idea. Understanding this concept takes the pressure off of pre planning and feeling like you have to have the whole picture figured out perfectly. And very often it turns out better than you even imagined when you first started out towards the goal. Just taking the next step with intention reveals the next step to take. So simple, it is often overlooked.

How have you seen this play out in your action steps?

Society is conditioned to fear change. Since this is so ingrained into the mindset, that is where the struggle comes in for most. When a person feels they have no control over change,it depletes ones confidence and self esteem, it causes stress,unhappiness, resentment, and leads to living an unfulfilled life. It is a perception, that one doesn't have control. Any individual can make a conscious choice to take control of their own lives and change anything they want. It is the perceived fear they have no control, and they must conform, that causes the struggle with change. So how does one change this?



-Realize you have choice, and stop telling yourself you don't - This is a common issue that causes some of the challenge with change. People often feel they don't have a choice, and use all their energy in negativeemotions that harm an individual physically, emotionally, in business and in relationships. When a change is present, ask yourself better questions and realize your solutions are notjust A or B. There is an entire alphabet of possibilities...get creative and FIND new solutions that feel right inside.

-Recognize when you have any negative emotions around change, it is a sign you are at the "effect" of change, and not being at "cause". When we feel at the effect of something, we feel we have no control. The choice in this situation is to be a victim, or, embrace and find new opportunities within the change. Keep searching your mind for solutions that feel really good inside. Strive for win/win solutions. That is a sign you are making a good decision.

-Do not discuss the negative emotions you may feel around change, with others that are complaining. It is a default setting within us to flock together with like minded people. The last thing you want to do when you feel negativity is to have a pity party with someone else. This is where so many steer wrong. It becomes a contest of who's situation is the worst. We have all heard phrases like "misery loves company", or "you think that's bad, listen to this". You will NOT find productive solutions by complaining with others that are complaining along with you. This is the time to dig deeper within yourself, or seek advice from someone that you know is either experienced in this area or has out of the box, positive, creative and innovative thinking.

-CHOSE to be positive and solution oriented -Even if you have not been up to this point, you CAN shift your thinking and become more solution oriented. We believe what we tell ourselves. If we are telling ourselves there are no solutions and we have to just accept this is the way it is, and we are expressing negative emotions, we will believe what we are saying and thinking. You CAN make a CONSCIOUS choice to override your past way of thinking, and choose to become more positive and solution oriented. Surround yourself with people that are positive and solution oriented. Remember whoever we surround ourselves with, will influence our own thinking.

Here is an example of a change I have been dealing with personally, that will demonstrate this.

The neighbor behind us has a dog that barks hysterically, high pitched, non-stop whenever they are outside. Last summer was the first year they had the dog, so we came to accept that it was a pup and not yet trained. This summer it hasn't changed. No one ever tells the dog to stop barking. This is one of those things that drives me crazy, and last year when it started, instead of reacting and yelling at the neighbors to keep their dog under control (which many years ago would have been my reaction), I decided to turn up my music when this happens, so I can't hear it. Up until today, that seemed like a solution. However, I was reflecting on it as I was working by the pool and the dog wouldn't stop barking. Being as I was working, it occurred to me that I also find my music very distracting when I am working and in deep thought or conversations. I don't typically turn on music when I am working so I can really be present in what I am doing.

I reflected and asked myself what else can I do? This isn't solving the challenge by turning up my music, and quite frankly, MY actions are probably ticking off other neighbors. As I was reflecting on this and asking myself these questions, for the first time, I heard the lady say "Buddy, no". This was the first time in 2 years I heard anyone correct this dog. Immediately I had my answer.

When we were teaching our dog not to bark at every little thing, we came across an idea that worked perfectly. You get a squirt bottle and fill it with water. When the dog barks, tell it "no barking" and if it doesn't stop, give it a little squirt. It doesn't hurt the dog, but they don't like it. It doesn't take long at all for them to learn. Once they do, if they are barking at something inappropriate, you just call their name, hold up the squirt bottle and firmly say, no barking. This worked perfectly for us...our little dog only barks if someone comes to the door.

So, tomorrow, I am going to knock on their door when we are out for our walk, and say that I heard them attempting to stop Buddy from barking, and want to share an idea that worked for us.

I feel GREAT about this. The solution of turning up my music was still leaving me feel ticked off inside that I was "at effect" of someone else's actions, or in this case, lack of action. With this new solution, I feel "at cause", with a true win/win solution.

Although this is a basic personal example, the strategy works every time in any kind of situation. It is the THINKING that makes the difference. The end result is you will feel great you found a solution that is win/win which builds confidence, self esteem, and personal certainty, it eliminates the stress, resentment, unhappiness, and the physical effects that go along with this, which allow you to feel better inside. THAT is a sign you are on the right track.

You know what you know. You know what you don't know. You don't know, what you don't know. You may need to read this sentence a couple of times....and you may not be fully clear on exactly what it means....yet.

This is a very important distinction about your mental awareness! People do the best they can with the knowledge and information they have. We have all heard the phrase "he/she doesn't know any better". How often though, have you questioned that? Why doesn't he/she know any better? What are they missing? What are they not up to date on? Could they learn it? Who could teach them, or where could they learn it?

Something individuals often do not understand, or have an awareness of is this:

1- There is awareness of knowledge we know - For example, an accountable knows their profession. The accountant most likely continues to read and study new tax laws, etc. to be sure they are keeping up to date on everything they need to know in their field of expertise (for the most part).

2- There is awareness of knowledge we don't know - The accountant knows he knows nothing about how to do heart surgery. The account has no pressing reason to learn anything about doing heart surgery and most likely doesn't see a need, or have an interest to learn about this topic area.

3- There is NO awareness of knowledge we don't know, we don't know - The accountant doesn't know there is a new field of employment being discussed called a "rewilder" - The rewilder's job will help undo the damage that humans have caused to the countryside. This means tearing down fences or ripping apart roads and replacing them with forests and natural greenery. The account has never heard of this, and didn't even have an an awareness that he didn't know.

Why does this matter? The fascinating thing about understanding these 3 areas of knowledge is this - If you put these 3 areas of knowledge awareness into a pie shape...the BIGGEST portion would be "what we don't know, we don't know".

Learning about a rewilder may not have any significance for you or your staff. Personally, I didn't know about this myself until recently, and I don't have an interest in this, other than I find it absolutely fascinating to continue to learn new innovative things and expand my knowledge, and think this is a needed and wonderful initiative. Consider this....how much more valuable, interesting, self motivated, fulfilled, happy and successful would someone be, if they regularly tapped into learning about new concepts in the category of what we don't know we don't know? And how could this be applied to the workplace? If you are a business owner, wouldn't it be great to have staff with this level of thinking and a curiosity to continue to learn and grow themselves? What could they bring to the workplace as a result of their continued curiosity for learning?

This whole concept is unknown to most in society and in the workplace. By taking on a leadership role and sharing this concept, stretching yourself, learning, growing, exploring new ideas, having an openness to learn new things, and challenging others to do the same, collectively you start to tap into the biggest piece of the knowledge pie. MASSIVE GROWTH lies in the area of what you don't know, you don't know.....what could this mean for you and the future of your workplace?

How many people enjoyed making speeches in school?  There is a statistic that most people are more fearful of speaking in public than dying!!!  

Were you a child that dreaded doing the "speech" in front of your class?  I certainly was and had many a sleepless night anxiously worrying about having to get up in front of the class.  How much does this hold us back in life down the road, and could it be handled better in schools to help kids embrace this rather than fear it?

Part of the problem with speeches that makes people uncomfortable is that there are too many rules around what is acceptable, and too much pressure is put on the individual. Choosing a popular topic, rehearsing, memorizing facts and data, etc. is very intimidating. In most cases children are asked to stand up in front of the class and deliver a memorized speech about something they have researched and really could care less about.  They memorize the words but the words generally mean nothing to them as they are reciting the speech, and it is long forgotten once it is done. 

It requires a different approach. Instead, what if we ask kids what they are interested in and ask them to share their thoughts with the class. Recognize them for the knowledge they have shared, and when the opportunity comes up, if there is more knowledge to be gained in the topic they have spoken about, ask them if there is anywhere they can find that out.   Give them a job to do that helps them develop their leadership skills.  Let them go research about something they are actually excited about and come back to the class with the answer. This builds confidence, leadership, and personal responsibility.   Instead of filing in like sheep taking turns giving their speech during specific parts of the school year, this could be implemented throughout the entire school year, spontaniously, but very purposely. The goal being, every child will have the opportunity to speak about what they are most passionate about.  No formality...but genuine passion and interest on behalf of the student, and embracing the new knowledge shared by the class and the teacher.  Imagine what a different approach like this would bring about.

The best speakers in the world are not those that stand behind a podium with a piece of paper and deliver a memorized speech. It is those that walk around freely with no notes, and just talk to their audience about what they are passionate and knowledgeable about. This is how speakers connect with their audience and their audience connects with them.  This confidence can be developed in any person to help them really tap into more of what they are capable of.  Not everyone wants to be a speaker, but anyone can benefit from the confidence that is built through being comfortable speaking in front of a group.

We hear a lot, and read a lot of articles these days about the new millennial generation.   Most I have found are negative and judgemental.

Something I have observed is that if you do not know a particular group (it could be age, culture, hobby, service, or any type of group), it is easy to buy into stereotypical comments, and label the group as a whole.    For instance,

I had a conversation with Dennis Pitocco last week, and he suggested the best way for all generations to “connect” is not by avoiding the “Next” generation, but by engaging with them.  How true that is!  Have you ever sat and listened to someone talk about what they are passionate about, or what they are engaged in?   Have you ever asked questions with genuine interest?  Have you noticed the spark in their eye?  Have you ever been so deep in a conversation with them you lost track of time, and afterwards thought about how much you enjoyed getting to know them?  Have you ever realized how you may have misjudged them before you took the time to really know them?

I see a lot of articles that have a very negative outlook about millennials and their potential.  I am the parent of millennials.  I find them absolutely fascinating.  They are smart, successful, interesting, purpose driven, and independent.  We spend a ton of time with our kids and their friends.  Their friends are the same.    Some are very different and could be labelled if you didn't know better because you know them as people.  Because I spend so much time with this age group, I have gotten to know for myself how great they all are.  I love having conversations with them, and have found myself talking to them at social gatherings for long periods of time.  They are so interesting and know so much more than my generation did at this age.  

It's interesting how some people will avoid spending any time engaging and getting to know people in general they don't know.  People they have labelled in any particular group, based on mass opinion.  The only way to really know for yourself if information is accurate, is to test it out for yourself.  By engaging in conversations with people in different "groups", whether it be millennials, boomers, or any other group, is how to  actually get to know people and have real authentic conversations.   You will be surprised what you discover.

I read an article recently talking about employee retention.  There was a comment made about mature workers that are "more likely to stay with you due to financial obligations and the difficulty in finding new jobs as one ages" 

This is a valid point, but why would you want anyone with this criteria?   This describes a person that has settled in life, doesn't realize they have choice or a voice and will likely not bring anything of value to the table in the way of innovative new ideas.   

There is a big difference between the person like this and the person that decides on a job and hangs their hat there for years because they are engaged and fulfilled in their work.  They are not there because of financial obligations or fear of not finding another job.  They are there because they want to be....they believe in the company, the people and the purpose and they want to play a role in making a difference.  They are not looking for where the grass is greener...they are happy and fulfilled where they are.

In hiring it is equally important to know what not to look for as well as what you prefer.

Old style management still believes they must rule their employees with an iron fist, instilling fear to gain respect and results.  These bully style, ego driven managers  believe the constant threat of losing their jobs is what  brings out the best in people.  This may have worked in the industrial age, but it is not effective in today's work environment.

It's been stated that 75% of the workforce will be millennials by 2015.   This is a group that is more educated than previous generations, they are more confident, know what they want, will not put up with poor treatment and are not threatened by losing their jobs.  Thankfully, this generation is not a generation of followers, living in a fear based society, sacrificing what they deserve for a paycheck.

If todays employees really want to leave, they will leave. It is much better to develop a great culture and working environment where people feel valued, rather than building a fear based culture based on threats. When employees do leave a great culture and working environment, for whatever reason,  they can become your biggest cheerleaders.  With the power of the internet and social media, this is often the best free advertising a company could get.   How much more powerful is that for future growth than an ex employee that bad mouths your organization?

Old style management still believes they must rule their employees with an iron fist, instilling fear to gain respect and results.  These bully style, ego driven managers  believe the constant threat of losing their jobs is what  brings out the best in people.  This may have worked in the industrial age, but it is not effective in today's work environment.

It's been stated that 75% of the workforce will be millennials by 2015.   This is a group that is more educated than previous generations, they are more confident, know what they want, will not put up with poor treatment and are not threatened by losing their jobs.  Thankfully, this generation is not a generation of followers, living in a fear based society, sacrificing what they deserve for a paycheck.

If todays employees really want to leave, they will leave. It is much better to develop a great culture and working environment where people feel valued, rather than building a fear based culture based on threats. When employees do leave a great culture and working environment, for whatever reason,  they can become your biggest cheerleaders.  With the power of the internet and social media, this is often the best free advertising a company could get.   How much more powerful is that for future growth than an ex employee that bad mouths your organization?

We have all heard this phrase from reading Dr. Seuss books.  How many actually took these words to heart and live them daily in their lives?

I know of a young man living these words.  He works in a bank.  

When he started at the bank, he started part time as a teller, and wanted to move up.  He studied the company training manual on his lunch hour and after work.  He spent the first year working in 5-6 different branch locations, going wherever he was needed.  

He volunteers to fill in for employee's that are sick or on holidays by driving to different cities to fill in for them.  Whenever there is a need to be filled such as this, he is the first to volunteer to go.

He volunteers to represent his company at community charity events, by attending on his days off, getting up and speaking to the crowd about the company he represents.  He does this to practice his public speaking to become more comfortable, as well as a way to give back to the community he lives in.

I saw a picture in our local newspaper of volunteers at one of the events.  He was the only one, out of about 40 in the picture that was dressed up....everyone had t-shirts and casual pants on, he was in a suit because he wanted to professionally represent the company he works for.  He stood out, not because he is 6'4" and towered above everyone in the picture, but because he has this vibrant positive personality, great smile, and was dressed the part of who he is portraying. 

He wears a suit and tie every day to work, even though it is not expected.  On dress down day when everyone is wearing jeans, he wears a pair of dress jeans, shirt, tie and jacket.  

It may seem like he is a more mature worker, however, he is 25 years of age.   He does all of this not because he has to, because he wants to.  He is going the extra mile because he understands this principle...why fit in when you were born to stand out.  It is no surprise he is excelling at his career, and was promoted to assistant branch manager after the first year.

Clues for success in life and in business are all around us in everything we do.  Many times, these clues seem so simple they are overlooked.  Pull out a Dr. Seuss book, and share a quote that may have inspired you that other's may have missed.....

Last week we were receiving weather warnings for 24 hrs in advance of an upcoming storm the next day. 15 cm of snow and winds picking up to 50 km/hr. At 8 am, when people would be leaving for work commutes, the snow was already coming down hard and winds were picking up. It was clearly evident by simply looking outside, and checking the forecast, that no one should have been driving.

I spoke to an employee of a business out of town, and by 9:40 am, the employees in this business were all leaving to go back home, after being given "permission". How unfortunate that these people were not given the space to make a judgement call about the weather, and felt they had to risk the roads to go into work. How unfortunate that they were not confident enough in their own decisions. How unfortunate they chose to go in because they felt obligated and felt like they didn't have choice. There were several fatal accidents that morning. How unfortunate that those that lost their lives may have felt this way and were driving into a similar job.



These are precisely the type of things that lead to disengagement and dissatisfaction within an organization.

Why is it important to give employees the space to make good judgement calls?

-Builds trust - they will feel like doing more for a company that puts them first. They won't mind staying late for other projects down the road because they know the company appreciates them, and stands behind them.

-Builds confidence - they will perform better. When people are not given the space to make simple judgement calls, they lose confidence and this affects other areas of their performance. Build their confidence and they step into their own greatness and prove what they are capable of.

What did the snow day example demonstrate to employees?

-The decision makers couldn't make a simple judgement call before everyone risked their lives. This causes distrust.

-The company didn't truly care about their people. This causes resentment.

-Employees lives are not valued over profits. This causes disengagement and destroys company culture.

This is the reality of the message the employees feel in situations like this. They don't feel valued, they become disillusioned and distrust and resent the company.

Giving people the space to make responsible decisions helps them take ownership of those decisions, which builds their leadership, self esteem, confidence and personal responsibility. Respect and trust for the company goes up, it increases their level of happiness and job satisfaction, which leads to higher engagement and more productivity. A true win/win for both the company and the employee, which is how long term successful businesses are built.

Regardless of whether we are talking about business, relationships or dieting, many people are accustomed to buying into their own excuses.   Why is it that someone can state they want to achieve something, yet, when it comes to taking action, they don't follow through?

-They were not committed in the first place - There is a difference between wanting something and actually committing to it.  You can want to lose weight, but unless you are willing to implement proper eating and exercise, you will not reach the goal.   This must be something an individual is willing to do for as long as it takes.  That is commitment.


-They don't have confidence in their ability to achieve the goal - Confidence comes from doing.  I remember the first time I was invited to speak at a business function.  I was not confident, I was actually quite the opposite and was a nervous wreck for months prior to the speaking engagement.  Something I learned a lot time ago though, was to keep stepping out of my comfort zone.    So even though I didn't feel confident as I spoke the first time, and probably a dozen times after that, I kept accepting the invitation to grow.  I kept stepping out of that comfort zone until I did feel confident. 

-Afraid of making a mistake -  Understand you will make some mistakes along the way.  That is ok, learn to embrace those mistakes and realize they are opportunities to learn, not mistakes.  When you learn by doing something the wrong way, you are also privileged to learn the right way, or in many cases, a new way that no one else has thought of.  This gives a new distinction in thinking you may not have realized had you simply done it the way everyone else does.  Also learn to lighten up an don't take yourself so seriously.  No one is perfect...mistakes are made.  Take responsibility and move forward.

-Attempting to be perfect - The challenge with being perfect, is the procrastination that takes place in pursuit of perfectionism.  Perfectionism cannot be maintained long term.  Strive for excellence instead and get out of procrastination and into action.


-They want results yesterday and are not willing to stay the course - Anything worthwhile takes time.  The world is full of people that just want the short cuts.  Although some will have short term success with this approach, long term success is built by doing the right things with a high level of ethics and integrity and staying the course, continually taking persistent action steps towards the goal.


-They have fears that are stopping them -  Many people stop in their tracks when fear arises and don't take the actions required, because they are too afraid.  Fear is something that every single person feels.  The difference between those that achieve their goals and those that don't, is successful people have learned to push through fear, understanding that fear disappears when you have the courage to face it.  


-They have limiting beliefs about what they are capable of - This is where desire comes in.  There are always going to be situations where you will think that you can't do something, that it is beyond your capability.  There is nothing a person cannot do provided they are willing to learn.


-They don't allow for adversity - With success, you will also experience adversity.  It is simply part of the process that all successful people experience. This is often where people give up, because they have bought the excuse that something went wrong, or it was too hard, and don't realize they have to push through this.   

Ask yourself who you are being?  The person that buys into one or more of these excuses, or, the person that is committed and willing to push through to achieve the result you want.  Identifying your excuse is the first step to conquering it.

Do you feel like you have to have everything perfectly figured out in advance?  Do you find that you procrastinate and don't take the actions you know you should?  Would you consider yourself a perfectionist?   Do you analyze everything to death?   Do you feel like you are often stalled and taking no action is the result because you have so much analysis going on in your mind?  How many times have you been stalled in the action steps you should be taking because you are attempting to figure out every possible step and outcome in advance?  Something I have learned to do is to always just take the next step to bring you closer to where you want to be.

We can't predict what the future is, or what taking a particular step will result in.  We can pre plan it in our mind, but very often it is not quite what we envisioned.  It is during the process of taking the step that we often figure out the next step to take,  as a result of something that may have happened during that process.  For instance, we decide to contact someone as our next step and during the conversation with that person, you learn some valuable new information, that gives you a new step to take which you couldn't possibly have known to take in advance.  Sometimes, it is a course correction that you couldn't have known to take, without this new information you gained from the last conversation.

As I have taken these steps consistently, I have often paused to look back and thought I couldn't possibly have imagined these new steps would present themselves as opportunity.  Some of the things that have happened have amazed me, and I didn't imagine would have come along.  Very often, I didn't even know these new things I have come across existed until I got to that spot of learning and being introduced to the new idea.    Understanding this concept takes the pressure off of pre planning and feeling like you have to have the whole picture figured out perfectly.    And very often it turns out better than you even imagined when you first started out towards the goal.   Just taking the next step with intention reveals the next step to take.  So simple, it is often overlooked.

How have you seen this play out in your action steps?

Isn't in interesting how often people want to give us advice that are not qualified to give us that specific advice, yet before we understand this concept, we often have the experience where we give in to their beliefs instead of our own.
Here's an example:  A young woman wants to start her own business and leave her nursing career, but  a "well meaning" co-worker is attempting to discourage her stating that most businesses fail.  This is an employee giving advice on what it takes to be successful in business.  This person has never been a business owner, yet is attempting to advise on this subject.   She is not qualified to give advice, and has no experience or credibility in the subject area.  She is giving advice based on what she has "heard", not on what she has experience in.  Yet, this happens to people every day....they take "well meaning" advice from people in their lives that have no business giving them advice because they have not had success in that area.  

So many people are talked out of their dreams every day because of this type of "well meaning" individual.  It is such a simple concept - only take advice from those that have had success in the area you want to improve upon.  If you want to build a stronger more loving marriage, ask the couple who has the best relationship you know.  If you want to advance in your career, ask the person that has done what you want to do.  Learning not to take advice from these stoppers in our lives is one of the best ways to build trust in your own decisions.  

Without identifying specifics, share what category your biggest stopper was - 

-a family member
-a friend
-a co-worker
-an educator or coach (sports or other)

This will assist others in recognizing how we are surrounded by stoppers in our closest circles, but despite that, we can choose to step outside of the advice they give and create success anyway.

Many years ago, I learned a concept called Know For Yourself.    Know for yourself is learning to break the habit of needing other people's opinions and approval,  and learning to trust your own internal judgments..  You learn to build autonomy, and  move away from masses thinking, because imitating the masses builds a life of conformity. 

Know for yourself is a concept  that I feel I had been searching for all my life.  I have always had my own thoughts and opinions, but I felt that I wasn't capable enough to really accept my thoughts as being correct for me.
This really comes from all the past conditioned beliefs we are taught growing up.  We are taught to take certain experts words and advice as the only correct answer.  Much frustration can set in for individuals when you feel deep down your intuition is telling you something, but you are overriding it because a perceived expert or guru knows better.  

An example may be something as simple as your doctor telling you to get the flu shot.  There has been so much fear instilled into society over the last few years about the need to get the flu shot.  Doctors suggest it every time you are in the office.  The drug stores offer it, there are ads in magazines, tv, etc.   There are signs everywhere you go, including the airport!  People line up for hours to get their flu shot because someone in a white coat has told them they should, and without question, they buy into it.

I have an uncle that had the flu shot when it first came out, and within days he became a vegetable, at age 60, and has been in a nursing home ever since, barely recognizing anyone and unable to care for himself.  This, along with my understanding of know for yourself, was a re-confirmation that despite what a Dr. may tell me I need, I  do my own research and take full responsibility for my health.  Whenever I have anything at all that needs to be addressed with my health, I fully research online to read and educate myself on all the possibilities and solutions before I walk into a Dr.'s office.  I want to be as informed as possible before I simply "accept" the recommendation given, so that I can ask informed questions, and make my own choices.   The interesting thing I have observed, is every year my Dr. asks me if I want the flu shot.  Every year I remind him about my uncle.  Every year it is like I am telling him this story for the first time.    I look at the generation before me, and how many never think to question a doctor.  People are told to take medication and in many cases, they have 6-8 bottles of pills sitting on their counter and have no idea what any of them are for, and why they are taking them.   It is a lack of personal confidence and not realizing they can ask questions.  Many feel that they could never question someone with "authority".  No one will ever care about your own health and well being as much as you.  Taking full responsibility for our health is just one more area of life that the principle of know for yourself comes into play.

There are two types of people that go to work everyday.  Those that spring out of bed every morning, with a sense of purpose and can't wait to get to work.  More common are those that want to sleep longer, call in sick, have a snow day or whatever it takes to get out of going to work.  I have been on both sides of the table, but very grateful that  many years ago I discovered what makes the difference.

 "Successful entrepreneurs know what makes them get out of bed in the morning.  They know what drives them to take the risks they take and to experience the results they create.  They know what makes the journey, with its ups and downs and difficulties and surprises, worth the effort." 

This gave me another one of those lightbulb moments.  Those that are looking for every excuse under the sun to not go to work, feel this way because they see no value in what they are doing. They are often bored, disengaged and have no sense of purpose.   They are just there for the paycheck.  That is not enough to build ongoing enthusiasm, fulfillment or happiness.

People want to feel what they do is worthwhile.  So many people in life make the mistake of choosing a career path just for the money.  Although we require finances to live, it is not enough to keep our enthusiasm alive.  We must have a purpose bigger than ourselves that gets us out of bed in the morning.  This is the distinction with successful entrepreneurs.  We know why we are doing what we do, we believe in it with all our hearts and are excited about the result it will bring. We know what we do matters, and we become self motivated. Successful entrepreneurs live their passion and do not feel controlled by outside sources. That in itself is so freeing.  And the key is, this enthusiasm is fully present, consistently,  BEFORE the success actually comes because the successful entrepreneur has chosen to live a life on purpose, a life of meaning, by their own design.  The enthusiasm is there because you are choosing purposely and not feeling controlled, or a lack of choice.  This thinking applies to both employees and entrepreneurs that want to feel this type of enthusiasm for their work.

 If you can't wait for Saturday, maybe it's time to reassess what you spend 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week doing.  Life is too short to spend 40 hrs week on something you don't enjoy.  Over a time period of 20 yrs of age to 65 years of age, that is 90,000 hours, based on a 40 hr. work week.  So ask yourself....who are you, the person that can't wait for Saturday so they don't have to go to work, or the person that is in love with their life and fully engaged in the work they do? 

We live in a world of schedules, often jumping from one thing to another, multi-tasking along the way.  This can lead to performing tasks poorly because we are just trying to get through the long list of everything we have to do.  There is a huge difference between doing something well and doing something just to get it over with because we feel we have to get to the next thing on the list.  This happens in the business world as well as our personal lives.  But the two worlds intermingle and  sometimes our best examples are outside of business, and these remind us of  concepts we may not be aware of, or may have forgotten.

This summer we watered our gardens every few days.  We watered, really, because we didn't want the plants we put in to die.  So, we went through the motions every few days to keep our investment from needing to be pulled out and thrown out.   I can honestly say we did not water because of the love of the garden, although we both love gardening and the results it produces.   Later in the summer, we were having a big event at our home and the plants were not doing too well. For the couple of weeks prior, I watered every day extensively with a bit of miracle grow in the water. It actually didn't take that much extra time, but the results were remarkable. When we watering every few days, we were trying to be efficient with our time, and were really just going through the motions and making it a "job" to complete as quickly as possible. Watering everyday with the bit of fertilizer with a defined purpose in mind of improving the look of the garden, took a bit more time, but was much more effective.   Very quickly the plants took hold and exploded with growth and looked just beautiful.  I had thought the reason the garden wasn't looking great was due to the plants.  It wasn't the plants, it was my care of the plants.

A good reminder not to just go through the motions, but actually do things that are effective that lead to the desired end result.  I look forward to next year's garden, with a renewed outlook to be more effective, and I am grateful for the everyday lessons we find in everything we do.  When you are open to lessons, they spill over and benefit other areas of life as well.

As individuals are finishing up 2013 and making plans and setting goals for the new year, it is a time of reflection.  Very often an individual comes to the realization they want to take a different direction in their work and decide to change jobs in the new year.   

When a person is going through this type of scenario, as it is important to take time to stop and reflect.  During this reflection time a great exercise to do is to make a list of all the things you don't want and the reasons you want a new direction, and,  a list of all the things that are important to you in your next step.   This is called clarity through contrast, and it is in engaging in this type of exercise that one can gain a lot of clarity.  Spending the time to identify and put on paper what you don't want, is a reminder not to fall into the same scenario with a new job.  Listing all the things that are important to you in a new direction allows you to identify what is really important this time around. 

Once the exercise has been completed, you may not know exactly what it is you want to do, however, having the clear vision of what you don't want and what you do allows you to identify confidently when the new opportunity is a match.

There is a lot of reference being made to the old "talent war era", and today's era of "new normal, and there is a dramatic difference between the two.

To describe workers in the talent war era, "all you had to do was show up and not mess it up"  It was an era when "worker bees" were the focus.  Management simply wanted people to show up, don't question, and do their job.   This has created a negative effect on engagement in the workplace.  People do not feel valued, they do not care about the mission statement of a company, they have been conditioned to just do their job and go home...hoping they are not next on the chopping block of downsizing.  

To create the "new normal" referred to, the focus has to be put back on the most important asset of a company - their people.  When people feel valued, feel they have input and that they matter to an organization, they give more.  Personal responsibility and leadership rises.  Employees start giving positive ideas and feedback, the culture changes to a happier more productive workforce, that is working together to achieve results for all involved.  This is a different mindset totally and a culture that all companies should be striving for.

This new normal can be developed to turn organizational results around, but as with any change, leadership must be willing to address the change necessary and stop living in the past and holding onto  what worked in the talent war era.   Change means doing things differently to achieve a different result.  It's a simple concept that many in business miss because they are holding on to what worked in the past.

Do employees that are well paid stay longer?  Do they perform better?  Do they give great customer service?  It is thought that money is a key motivator for employee longevity and better performance. Giving an employee a raise is not enough to keep them committed to an organization.

Well paid employees leave an organization because of several reasons.

–Bully management
Bully management is an outdated management style.  If you think back to the playground, bullies are those that have their own internal conflicts, one of which being the only way for them to feel important is to bully others. There is no place for a bully, not in the schoolyard, the park or the boardroom.  Eliminate the bully and employees feel a sense of leadership.

–No room for growth
When an employee does not feel there is any room to learn and grow they do not see a future for themselves.  We are meant to continue to learn and grow...when people do not experience this the job becomes uninteresting and they become disengaged.   Encouraging and promoting ongoing training and development makes the employee feel there is more for them to grow into in the organization.

–No advancement potential
Think about younger employees and the goals and dreams they have for their futures.  If they do not see any advancement potential, many will leave and take a lower pay for the opportunity to move up in a different organization.

–Don't feel valued
If an employee doesn't feel valued, they disengage and are not performing at their maximum.  Some of the same rules apply to business as in our personal lives.  People want to feel valued in what they do.  The person that feels valued to an organization tends to give more of themselves, and do more than asked.

–Poor company culture
Company culture can very often outweigh the wage an employee is receiving.  When there is collaboration, learning, growing, innovation, advancement, flexibility, autonomy, and employees are aligned in the mission of the company, it develops a positive culture that people want to continue to be a part of.

It isn't necessarily the money that is the motivator, but the feeling of being valued by the employer.  When employees feel valued, they are learning and growing, are engaged in a great company culture and see a future for themselves, they are happier, less stressed, more engaged and perform better.