We all want the best for our kids. We want to give them the best of everything, including advice. The challenge for many is the advice we have grown up with, is not relevant in today's changed world, yet many are still giving this advice. Yes, there are some basics that never change, such as values, character, etc., however, the world of employment is a different world than when many of us grew up through the industrial age.

Students are following the path laid out by parents and education. Go to school, get a degree, and get a "good job". The challenge is, what worked in the industrial age, is not working for 21st century students.

Underemployment is at an all time, along with astronomical student debt. Some young people are being denied mortgages because their student debt is so high.

Think back to when you were in your early twenties...imagine how it must feel to have debt of $30,000-$50,000+, before you even buy a car or a home? Before you get married and have a family. And, topping it off, you can't even find work in that field to justify the debt.

This is something every parent should be thinking about as there is no longer such a think as "job security". Layoffs, downsizing, etc. over the past few years has clearly affected people in absolutely every sector. People are looking for work that never thought they would be.

It's been stated that over 65% of the work that will be done by today's youth hasn't been invented yet. With this in mind we must encourage youth to become the CREATORS of work....not the VICTIMS of underemployment.

This is a mindset that can be developed. Encouraging kids to do things that create work for themselves teaches them self reliance, personal responsibility, leadership, and to utilize their natural creativity.

Things like:

Lemonade stands, newspaper routes, selling handmade jewellery, cutting grass, snow shoveling, yard clean up, watering gardens, babysitting, car washing, dog walking, pet sitting when people are away, go to garage sales and buy old pieces of furniture, paint it and sell it......there are tons of things kids can do to generate spending money. It teaches them to create something out of nothing. It teaches them to think out of the box, to find solutions....

Blame is put on government and education, and people tend to want someone to "solve" the issue....to bring about needed change. We must stop blaming and start acting. PARENTS can take a stand to BE the change and provide change for their kids. We don't have to wait for approval to start teaching our kids to think differently, embrace creativity, learn self reliance, personal responsibility and leadership. It starts in the home. If we don't want our kids to be the victims of a changed economy, we must show them there are alternatives and they can create anything they choose.

Many years ago I found myself working harder and harder and not getting the results I wanted. I got to the point where I realized I couldn't physically work any harder, but more importantly, didn't want to. Sound familiar?



This was a great lesson that I have been able to apply to all aspects of my life. I also learned that everyone and everything is our teacher. The key is to be open to the messages as they present themselves, and implement the knowledge you gain.

A powerful distinction to be aware of is:

WHERE YOU ARE TODAY, IS A RESULT OF YOUR BEST THINKING.

In order to grow in a new or better direction, you must continue to learn, and, be willing to let go of the best thinking that brought you to this point.....

Let's look at a couple of examples:

In that situation I was working about 80 hr/wk. I was tired, I was frustrated, and I was burning out. My belief was that if I just worked harder (which we are conditioned to believe is the solution), it would give me the result I wanted. However, I couldn't work harder, and didn't want to keep this pace up. It was only when I came to this realization, that I also realized my very best thinking was NOT working. This can be demotivating, or, actually inspire you. When you authentically admit to yourself your best thinking isn't working, you also open yourself up to new possibilities. This is where the lesson comes in - learn from those that are getting the result you want.

I had a conversation recently with someone struggling with their career. They were doing the best they knew (best thinking). What they hadn't considered was learning from a mentor, asking better questions, learning and implementing new ideas, leaving their old thinking behind, and being willing to embrace new ideas and principles. You could physically see the difference this made when this individual gained this new hope.

Several years ago, I had a conversation with someone that was concerned about their employment. At that time, their best thinking was they would be at the company until they retired (this was 20 years prior to retirement age). When the threat of downsizing became apparent, it brought out a new side of this person I had never seen. They decided to buy a business and create their own job security instead of being a "victim" of downsizing. This person is thriving personally, happier than they have ever been and thriving in this business. They decided to let go of their previous "best thinking" which was I need to have an employer and stay there until I retire because I can't do anything else at my age. They replaced their previous "best thinking" with a new way of thinking....a more SELF RELIANT way of thinking. "I am going to buy a business since my job is being eliminated". Such a simple shift in thinking, but has changed everything in a positive direction for them.

Another person I spoke to recently has a business, but it is very physical work. They are very experienced in this field and we talked about the knowledge they have that is very valuable in their industry. They have now found a new way to work that is branching out of their existing business, and utilizing the knowledge base they have to grow their business. Like the experience I had, they realize it isn't about working physically harder. It is about learning to think differently to bring about a different or better result.

As Einstein said...."The definition of insanity is doing the same things, expecting different results"

WHY Is This Important? What is potential? It is defined as "capable of becoming". We are all born with it....so why do so few reach it? There's a DANGEROUS spot where many reside.....called the Comfort Zone.

Many that reside in the comfort zone, belief this is safe. Many would also believe there is little to no risk inside the comfort zone, and believe they have "security" there.



Those in the comfort zone believe:

If you stay within your comfort zone you don't have to work as hard.

You don't have to challenge yourself.

Your don't have to learn new things.

You don't have to do things that you are unsure of.

Although some of these would be accurate (don't have to learn new things, challenge yourself or do things you are unsure of) in many cases staying in the comfort zone will actually require you to work harder because you are struggling. Struggling to keep anything from changing. However, change in life and in business is constant. If we are not growing and changing, we will struggle to maintain.

The problem with the comfort zone is it is like a drug that keeps us stuck. Those within the comfort zone don't realize the negative effect of it.

It leads you to just "surviving" and struggling to do so.

You may feel stressed over lack of results.

You may have a feeling of helplessness.

You may feel you are a victim of circumstances.

You don't have anything that excites you.

Life is dull.

You are unmotivated.

Others you care about may outgrow you.

Ask yourself, do you want to stay stuck just surviving in the comfort zone, or, do you want to take a step outside of what's comfortable to create more freedom in your life?

Taking a step out of the comfort zone is not as hard as most would imagine in their minds. Look at the X at the center of the diagram in the photo. This is where you are right now. To take a step outside of where you are right now, you must make a DECISION to do so, regardless of any fear or nervousness you may experience. So often people wish and hope and sit on the fence and can't decide on things. If you want to start living into more of your full potential, you must learn to make powerful decisions that lead you towards your goals, and then stick to those decisions, even if you feel fear. This is a temporary feeling that disappears when you take action, but you will not actually understand this until you take the action and can look back with your new perspective. Ask yourself if you want to spend your life in fear, struggling to stay "safely" in the comfort zone, or if you want to rid yourself of this feeling? Taking one small step outside of the inner circle expands the circle and makes it bigger, as demonstrated with the next X. Each time you do this, as you can see, the circle gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

The great thing you will experience is that although it can be scary to take that first step, once you do, you prove to yourself what you are truly capable of. This builds your self esteem and your confidence, and gives you the courage to do it again. When you do this continually and look back 6 months, 1 year, 5 years later, you won't believe how much you have grown, and also how stuck you were previously. You will feel more free than you ever thought possible.

Write down one small step you could take to step out of your comfort zone today. Regardless of how small it is, realize you have just widened your circle of comfort. Each time you have the courage to do this, that comfort zone will keep expanding. It's up to you to decide how far you will grow.....

WE HAVE ALL heard this phrase from reading Dr. Seuss books.  How many actually took these words to heart and live them daily in their lives?

I know of a young man living these words.  He works in a bank.

When he started at the bank, he started part time as a teller, and wanted to move up.  He studied the company training manual on his lunch hour and after work.  He spent the first year working in 5-6 different branch locations, going wherever he was needed.

He volunteers to fill in for employee’s that are sick or on holidays by driving to different cities to fill in for them.  Whenever there is a need to be filled such as this, he is the first to volunteer to go.

He volunteers to represent his company at community charity events, by attending on his days off, getting up and speaking to the crowd about the company he represents.  He does this to practice his public speaking to become more comfortable, as well as a way to give back to the community he lives in.

I saw a picture in our local newspaper of volunteers at one of the events.  He was the only one, out of about 40 in the picture that was dressed up….everyone had t-shirts and casual pants on, he was in a suit because he wanted to professionally represent the company he works for.  He stood out, not because he is 6’4″ and towered above everyone in the picture, but because he has this vibrant positive personality, great smile, and was dressed the part of who he is portraying.

He wears a suit and tie every day to work, even though it is not expected.  On dress down day when everyone is wearing jeans, he wears a pair of dress jeans, shirt, tie and jacket.

It may seem like he is a more mature worker, however, he is 25 years of age.   He does all of this not because he has to, because he wants to.  He is going the extra mile because he understands this principle…why fit in when you were born to stand out.  It is no surprise he is excelling at his career, and was promoted to assistant branch manager after the first year.

Clues for success in life and in business are all around us in everything we do.  Many times, these clues seem so simple they are overlooked.  Pull out a Dr. Seuss book, and share a quote that may have inspired you that other’s may have missed…..

Wait, wait, wait......it's not the right time! Many people live their life on hold. Always waiting for the right time. Never moving forward and taking the actions they "say" are important to them. Something has come up. They change their mind because something is more pressing. Start and stop...don't start at all. These are common patterns of those that are always waiting for the "right" time. It;s like being underwater searching for air. Eventually you are going to run out of time and if you don't learn to embrace the moment, you miss out on all life has to offer.




This affects every type of decision in all aspects of life. Every day you can hear people discussing timing. The time isn't right because_________. Interestingly, it can be boiled down to some of the same basic things.

-not enough time

-not enough money

-I don't know how

-the kids are too young, I will wait till they are older

-I'm too busy with the kids, they have sports, music, etc.

-It's too soon

-It's too late

-I don't have _________

What most don't recognize is these are all excuses, that come from a fearful mind, and not being clear on what you really want in life. This affects everything from how we eat, to fitness routines, to relationships, to the work we do. The interesting thing is that we use the same excuses for all of these. Let's look at an example.

"I need to lose weight" - I don't have time to go to the gym...I work F/T and am too busy with the family. Once the kids are older I will get to it.

A few years pass and the kids are now older - "It's too expensive to join the gym, I have too many expenses with the kids sports etc."

A few more years pass and the kids are now grown - "Those exercise classes are for the younger folks, I can't keep up"



This is just a brief run through of how something as basic as working out plays out over the years. This could be anything in life though. Let's look another situation.......

"I want to change jobs, I don't like what I'm doing" - I have too many bills, I can't risk it now.

10 years pass - "I've been here so long and now I have 4 weeks holiday I don't want to give up"

10 more years pass - "I can't change now, no one will hire me at this age"



You can take any situation and observe how this plays out in your own life, or by observing others. How many people are living a life of regrets? How many are over complicating the decisions they should be making? We often hear elderly people giving advice to "have no regrets". There is a huge clue in this - they clearly recognize they would do things differently if given a second chance....by why wait and put yourself in this position?

A simple formula I have used in my life is being very clear on what is important to me. This applies to my work, my relationships, my health and fitness, everything. Once you have the clarity, then ONLY make decisions that support what you want. Someone once said to me "I don't buy my own excuses, so I won't buy yours". That was a very powerful lesson for me and I took it to heart and started living my life by this principle. We cannot achieve what we want, if we are buying our own excuses.

I have learned if we are waiting for the "right" time for something, that usually never comes, because there is ALWAYS something else, another excuse that gets in the way. THERE IS NO PERFECT TIME!!!!!! The difference between those that create the desired result and those that don't, is not buying your own excuses and making the decisions and taking the actions necessary to support what you do want. People that achieve the desired result have all the same "timing" excuses, however, have learned not to buy those excuses and take action anyway, despite the timing not being right. Finding a way where there doesn't seem to be a way. It is a simple distinction but a very powerful one.

Do you have a tough time with decisions? We hear, or say, things like "I'm not sure what to do, or which way to go". We seek the advice and/or approval of those around us in order to make decisions and many do not have the confidence to make a decision without checking with someone else. Have you ever wanted to make a decision to go a certain direction but upon checking with someone else you took a totally different path because you found more confidence in the other persons opinion than your own? You don't need a crystal ball or a guru....you have the answers within your heart.

If you find yourself changing direction or not following through on what you want, this should be a "red flashing" warning light for you, and where many people steer wrong, and wonder why they are not feeling happy, fulfilled or successful in their lives. The reason is, you do not feel you are in control. You are living your life by someone elses agenda, ideas, rulebook or definition. Trusting your gut (or intuition) is vitally important for success. Our intuition is there to guide us in the right direction. The error many make is letting their heads get in the way of where their hearts are guiding them. This shows up in different ways, however, there are solutions that will help you get around it and become more proficient in your decision making.

-Someone close to you advises you to make a different decision - This is one of the biggest reasons people do not make effective decisions. Ask yourself is this person experienced in this particular area? Do they have the results in their own life to give them credibility in giving you advice? Thank them for their kind concerns, but understand they are not qualified to advise you.

-You are on the fence and don't know what way to go - Ask yourself what will change if you do make the decision, and what will change if you don't. You will most likely determine nothing will change if you don't make the decision. That is a sign to reassess if you want a new or different result. Nothing changes by continuing on the same path doing the same things, while expecting a different result. As Einstein said, this is the definition of insanity. You can also look at the reason you are hesitating - is it from fear or limiting beliefs, or are you allowing #1, someone close to you giving you advice and you are not trusting yourself?

-You feel anxious, worrying you will make a mistake - Stop looking for guarantees. We have the answers within our hearts. Trust yourself and then pull out all the stops to go forward in the direction your heart is telling you.

-You put off making the decision - This comes down to trusting yourself. It is one thing to sleep on something to weigh all the options, it is another thing to procrastinate and stay on the fence. Not making a decisions one way or the other, is making a decision to stay stuck.

-You trust others opinions more than your own - How can anyone know more about what is right for you, than YOU? A great exercise is to journal...get your thoughts on paper and be willing to be totally authentic with yourself. Journal about what you truly want in your life and then be willing to ask yourself what you need to do to create it. Then, be willing to leave your fears, limiting beliefs, past conditioning behind, make a bold decision that supports what you want, and take the action steps necessary to create it.

-You base your decision on other people's failures - You have heard "stories" about this or that happening to someone else, very often THROUGH someone else. We CREATE our own realities. It does not matter if someone else had a bad experience with something. Learn WHY they did, and use that knowledge to go forward without falling into the same errors. Usually it is a lack of commitment, planning, making effective decisions, their own fears and limitations they have put on themselves that has caused them to fail. They are not YOU. Learn from things others have done that are effective, don't give in to the excuses those that have failed use.

Looking at all the options and then trusting your gut based on that information is a great combination for decision making. A simple question that will assist with this is "will this decision bring me closer or further away from my goal?" If it would bring you further away, you are making the wrong decision, quite often a fear based decision. This is the time to course correct, and make the decision that brings you toward your goal. This simple question was life changing for me. It allowed me to shine the light on errors I was about to make so that I could make a conscious decision to course correct.

Something important to recognize is that making bold powerful decisions and trusting yourself does not totally eliminate the feeling you may not know what to do, and may have fear associated with it. It is part of the process. What you will learn though, is that when you are willing to make these type of bold, courageous decisions, trusting yourself, and take the next step that supports your goal, you will figure it out along the way.

Dan Roth, LI's Executive Editor, asked me to join others to share my thoughts to help guide the graduating class of 2014 in a series called #IfIWere22 . I am actually going to go back to when I was 19, because I distinctly remember something very important that will shape your life, if you take the lesson to heart.

When I was 19 I was engaged and about to marry, just days before my 20th birthday. There was a "moment" when I thought I was making a mistake and thought about not going through with the marriage. I quickly told myself it was just pre marriage jitters (which I had heard somewhere through my childhood). My father was an alcoholic, and if I called the wedding off, it meant I would still have to live in that environment, so I quickly gave my head a shake and told myself there was no other choice. Looking back, that was the biggest lessons of my life. Here are the first 2 lessons from that:

THERE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE - and it isn't just A or B. There are choices you haven't thought of in every situation. Learn to ask yourself better questions, such as what else could I do, what are other choices and solutions I haven't thought of, and what do I need to do to make the best choice happen.

2nd - That little voice, was the voice of intuition. It was right. 4 years later I was divorced, and so was my mom. The fear that I had wasn't real about living with my dad, because my mom ended the marriage, and I could have been there to help my mom through the challenges she went through. Follow your heart, our intuition is our own "internal guidance system." It is there to GUIDE you. The KEY is to listen, and follow the messages you hear when you get authentic with yourself. Really LISTEN to your intuition and allow it to guide you. Listen to your inner voice in relationships and in business. If either doesn't feel right, there is something better waiting for you. Have the courage to take a stand for what you deserve in your life.

-Don't be afraid to take risks - Society is conditioned to buy into fear and limiting beliefs. This is why so many in life struggle. Be willing to take risk - this is where the biggest rewards are and the least competition. On the topic of competition, it is only present when people think there is a lack of something. When you are willing to take risk and go after what you want, you will meet others on that same path, and it often leads to something bigger than you ever imagined, that hasn't even been created yet....there is no competition there.

-The most important thing you can do right now, is to reflect and get absolutely clear on your passions and what truly makes you happy. What do you love, what are you good at, what are you most interested in, what would you like to learn? Many people go through their entire lives searching for happiness, and waiting for the next ____ to "make"them happy. It doesn't work that way. Happiness is within you. It is YOUR job to discover it. The key is to listen to your heart and follow the path your heart is leading you.

-Consider self employment as a viable choice for your future. There is no such thing as job security...we are NOT in the industrial age any longer. The only job security there is, is your willingness to do what it takes to combine your ideas, skills, knowledge, education, passion, and combine with all the technology options available to create your own work. It has been stated that over 65% of the work that will be done by today's youth hasn't been invented yet - this is exciting!!!! GO AND BE THE CREATORS! There are choices out there for you in your career that no one has thought of yet.

-You are going to be working for a long time. Find a way to connect your passion to what you do for a living, you will never feel like you are working. Work for the meaning of the work and provide value - you will feel personally rewarded, and the financial reward will follow.

-Take personal responsibility for everything in your life, good and bad. Don't put blame on others. Have a high standard of ethics and integrity, because that will last long term and set you far above most others.

-Be the leader in your own life - don't wait for things to happen, go out and MAKE things happen. You have potential for a reason.....TO LIVE INTO IT.

-Don't give into fear. First, fear is not real, it is imagined in the mind, and will hold you back from what you want more than anything. YOU are driving your thoughts, and you have a choice whether your thoughts are based on fear or courage. Successful people have all the same fears, the difference is, successful people push through the fear. THAT is how fear actually disappears.

-Step out of your comfort zone consistently - Nothing great happens within the comfort zone. When you are willing to take a step out of your comfort zone, and do this continually in your life, you will grow more and accomplish more than you ever imagined.

-Keep learning and growing your knowledge - Nothing stays the same, change is constant. Be a life long learner and you will continually put yourself at an advantage.

-Embrace change and find opportunity within it - As I mentioned, change in life and business is constant. Don't resist change, instead embrace change and ask yourself what opportunities you can find within the change. It is very often the stepping stone to something incredible.

-Have more courage - This is the opposite of fear. By pulling out the courage from within, you will continue to raise the bar on what you are capable of.

-Surround yourself with like minded, positive, people, and let go of the negativity you come across in life - sometimes you have to love people from a distance.

-In business and in life, ONLY take advice from people that have the result you want and are therefore QUALIFIED to give you advice. Any other advice is usually from "well meaning" people, usually living inside the box of fear, conformity, theories, and mediocrity. They are NOT qualified to give you advice, no matter who they are and how much you may love them.

-Work hard, but play just as hard. It's important so you don't burn out.

-Remember as you build success, to reach back and help others to reach their potential. That is what true leaders do. True leaders are not threatened by the success of others....they reach back and help others succeed. This is one of the responsibilities of leadership.

-Know your parents did the best they could with what they knew. Good or bad, take the lessons and raise the bar to be a better parent yourself. When we know better we do better.

-Forgive - I learned to forgive my dad long after he passed away. Forgiveness is something you do for YOURSELF so that you are not carrying around the anger, the hatred, or any other negative emotion. Forgiveness allows you to let go and take that burden off your shoulders. You cannot be the best version of you, if you are carrying negative emotions inside of you.

-Marry your best friend - Why would you settle for spending your life with anyone less. Respect each other always. Do things you can both participate in. Share your dreams and goals together. Learn how to dance...you will be able to have a ton of fun with this as a couple for your whole lives:)

-When you have children remember to take time out as a couple - for date nights, and holidays....the kids will grow up and leave eventually. You want to have a great relationship with your partner still when they do. Don't hesitate to take the kids out of school to travel the world. They will learn more from this than anything they miss in the classroom.

I did manage to find the love of my life and have been happily married now for almost 29 years, with 2 grown successful kids. Ten years ago, I found my passion. It took that long because I didn't understand the relevance of identifying your passion, and had to go through all the stepping stones of challenge to find and identify it. People search their whole lives for happiness. Happiness is within us. Our job is to reflect and authentically identify our passion and then make sure all the decisions we make in our lives support it.When you are willing to do this, you will feel such a sense of control in your life, and will find that happiness within you. Life is a journey, not to a destination, but to be lived and enjoyed every moment of the ride!

"WOW, she is so lucky!" Have you heard someone make a remark about a business owner being lucky? Have you looked at the life they live and felt they have so much and you could never achieve this level of success? What does LUCK have to do with success?

There are some very specific things you can commit to, that will accelerate your success:

- Be willing to step out of your comfort zone - This is not a new concept, yet most people in society only stay within their personal comfort zones. We are conditioned to believe that staying with what we know and what we are "comfortable" doing is "safe". In fact, this is one of the most dangerous things you can do, if you want to move forward and create more success. Successful people have learned to continually step outside of what is familiar, and what is comfortable because this is the only way you learn and grow. Understand, if you are not learning and growing, you are regressing, so it is imperative to step outside of your comfort zone and learn and test new things.

- Understand change is constant - There is nothing in life or in business that doesn't change. Nothing stays the same. Those that resist change will be left behind. Instead, embrace change, learn whatever is necessary to work within change and you will find opportunity that was always there, but was not revealed until you embraced the change with a new attitude.

- Be consistent & persistent - Successful people do not give up. Successful people do not take action for a short period of time, and then give up if they don't have the result within X number of months. Successful people understand the importance of being consistent and persisting with their decisions and actions until the goal is met.

- Take personal responsibility for everything in your life - If you walk your dog, pick up after they do their business. If you drop something in a store, own up to it with the shop keeper. If you give someone the wrong advice, tell them you made a mistake. If you made a wrong decision, make it right. When you commit to doing something, keep the commitment. Personal responsibility is one of the most powerful concepts to implement to bring about life and business improvements.

- Realize you have choice - There are two types of people - those that play the victim who doesn't have choice, and those that realize there is ALWAYS new and better choices they can make. No one has to be in a job or relationship they don't enjoy. There are choices, there are always solutions. The key is to understand you DO have choice and to make better ones.

- Not afraid to risk - I talked about this in a previous article ..... Society has been conditioned to believe that we shouldn't take risk. Risk can be re-framed to Responsibly Implementing Specialized Knowledge. Anyone who achieves success understands risk is not something to fear, but to embrace, to put yourself in a position that most will never experience because they are stuck in fear. Understanding and living this concept can put you in the top percentage in your field, because most people simply will not do it. And guess what, the bonus is - there is no competition there!

- It is vital to be a continual learner - No matter what field you are in, there is always something new, and things changing. They way to stay ahead is to commit to raising the bar in your own development and continue to learn and grow. There is no such thing as staying right where you are....if you are not learning and growing, you are dying.

- Face your fears - One thing I have personally learned is that if we don't face our fears, our fears control us. When we feel controlled, we feel frustrated, stressed and unhappy, but often do not realize why we feel that way. No one wants to be controlled. Fear is not real, it is our mind creating imaginary outcomes from the conditioned beliefs we have. There is nothing more exhilarating than doing something you were afraid of, and proving to yourself how capable you are, and how you were holding yourself back by buying into the fear. This will open the door to a whole new world of learning and living into your potential, and is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It builds self esteem, confidence and certainty which are building blocks to success.

-Rest but don't quit - There will be times you are tired, burnt out, exhausted. This is the time to honor your body and your mind, and take a short rest to rejuvenate yourself. The key is rejuvenate - don't quit. Get back at it once you are rested, with a renewed enthusiasm, clearer focus and new ideas and give it everything you've got.

So, is it luck? I have found the harder I work on these things, the luckier I get.... If you are willing to commit to these things, you too can be a LUCKY entrepreneur.

How many people enjoyed making speeches in school?  There is a statistic that most people are more fearful of speaking in public than dying!!!  

Were you a child that dreaded doing the "speech" in front of your class?  I certainly was and had many a sleepless night anxiously worrying about having to get up in front of the class.  How much does this hold us back in life down the road, and could it be handled better in schools to help kids embrace this rather than fear it?

Part of the problem with speeches that makes people uncomfortable is that there are too many rules around what is acceptable, and too much pressure is put on the individual. Choosing a popular topic, rehearsing, memorizing facts and data, etc. is very intimidating. In most cases children are asked to stand up in front of the class and deliver a memorized speech about something they have researched and really could care less about.  They memorize the words but the words generally mean nothing to them as they are reciting the speech, and it is long forgotten once it is done. 

It requires a different approach. Instead, what if we ask kids what they are interested in and ask them to share their thoughts with the class. Recognize them for the knowledge they have shared, and when the opportunity comes up, if there is more knowledge to be gained in the topic they have spoken about, ask them if there is anywhere they can find that out.   Give them a job to do that helps them develop their leadership skills.  Let them go research about something they are actually excited about and come back to the class with the answer. This builds confidence, leadership, and personal responsibility.   Instead of filing in like sheep taking turns giving their speech during specific parts of the school year, this could be implemented throughout the entire school year, spontaniously, but very purposely. The goal being, every child will have the opportunity to speak about what they are most passionate about.  No formality...but genuine passion and interest on behalf of the student, and embracing the new knowledge shared by the class and the teacher.  Imagine what a different approach like this would bring about.

The best speakers in the world are not those that stand behind a podium with a piece of paper and deliver a memorized speech. It is those that walk around freely with no notes, and just talk to their audience about what they are passionate and knowledgeable about. This is how speakers connect with their audience and their audience connects with them.  This confidence can be developed in any person to help them really tap into more of what they are capable of.  Not everyone wants to be a speaker, but anyone can benefit from the confidence that is built through being comfortable speaking in front of a group.

I BELIEVE everyone is our teacher. We learn from every experience and every person we come in contact with…good or not so good. The key is to take the distinctions we find and ask ourselves how we can apply them to our lives to get the end results we want.

Here is an example. I have a friend who has a passion for fly fishing. He has been involved with this sport for several years now and absolutely loves it. He has all the best equipment, and has spent hours fishing every season. He makes his own flies and uses them when he fishes. Although he absolutely loves everything about the sport, he wasn’t catching any fish. He kept going out time after time, and coming back after braving freezing spring and fall weather for hours, without achieving the result he wanted.

During the last year, he met an individual that has been fly fishing for years, who took him under his wing and started sharing tips with him. This person then introduced him to his group of fly fishers that meet regularly to share ideas and talk about the sport. My friend learned a lot and started changing the technique he was using to tie flies and developed a way to test them. Yesterday, he caught two beautiful fish.

My friend has invested thousands of dollars, and years of his time to reach this result of catching his first two fish. Observing him through this experience, I noticed several things that relate to success in business and in life in general.

-Follow your passion
-Invest in the equipment you need to do the job
-Be willing to do what it takes for as long as it takes
-Find a mentor
-Mastermind and network with like minded people
-Keep learning and growing yourself
-Know when to course correct
-Test new ideas
-Don’t get discouraged…keep having fun following your passion

A second example….think about any profession that takes 6-8 years of schooling and then being in business for several years to see a profit. For instance, a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc all go to school for many years. They invest tens of thousands of dollars to learn their trade. Then they open a practice, or go to work for someone, while paying off their student debt. Years later, they actually are starting to earn money that stays in their pocket. This can take 10-15 years, depending on the situation.

Here is another example. I had a conversation recently with an individual that decided to start a business. A couple of months after she started the business, she decided she was going to close it. A couple of months, and a few thousand in investment and the doors were already closed. This individual believes she gave it her best.

THIS type of mindset is exactly why people don’t have the success they are looking for in life, and in business.

In business or in life, those that have the mindset of this fly fisherman are the ones that will create the result they desire. This is what a professional does. The fly fisherman, the doctor, lawyer, or engineer are committed for the long term, and are willing to do what it takes. They invest time, money, learning to achieve the result they want. Success is not created overnight. It takes time, commitment, a willingness to push through struggle and challenge for as long as it takes. A powerful distinction in thinking that anyone can choose if they are serious about creating the results they want to achieve.

With students about to graduate, it seems like the right time to reflect and give the best advice we can.  There have been some wonderful commencement speeches, one of my favorites was by Steve Jobs.  We learn so much from our experiences, and many people if given a chance to go back and do things differently, would make some different choices and decisions.  There are others that wouldn't change a thing and can give advice from real world experience on what was effective for them.
I have been an entrepreneur since 1986.  I have learned, made some errors, and had success.  There have been tough times, and glorious times.  

The best advice I would give a new grad is to keep learning and working on themselves personally.  People very often underestimate what they are capable of and have the belief that there isn't a need to continue learning after graduation.    I believe it's vital to take time to identify their passions, and  combine the knowledge, ideas, skills and education they have with all the technology available to start their own business so they are not relying on an employer for work.  If you learn self reliance, you will never be the victim of lay offs, downsizing, or office politics etc.   Do what makes you feel happy and fulfilled, you are going to spend a lot of time working.  Surround yourself with great, inspiring, positive people.  Prove to yourself what you are truly capable of, and don't let anyone squash your dreams.  Only take advice from those actually qualified to give it...you will know by their own results in that area.  Realize there will be bumps, challenges, and adversities....it is part of life, business, and simply part of the process.  Find solutions in those moments, it can often be the stepping stone to future successes.   And finally, make sure you have a balanced life...it's important to work hard towards your goals, but work equally as hard on your relationships, because that is the reason any of us work....we work to live, we don't live to work. 

What advice would you share with young grads?

It isn't always smooth sailing when you are building a business! As an entrepreneur is building their business, there will be challenges, and times when you feel you need to make adjustments. This is a NORMAL part of the process! Very rarely do we hit the destination without a few bumps in the road along the way.

Reaching your business goals is somewhat like sailing....it's important to be able to adjust the sail when necessary in order to stay on course and reach the destination. Challenges can be compared to the wind blowing you off course. When you are sailing, it is actually the wind that you embrace to push you towards your destination....the key is to work with the wind (the challenge) to get you there.

Although it's important to have a plan to follow, successful people do not need every single detail to be known in advance, and have learned to be flexible when necessary. There will be times you set out in a specific direction, however, new things come up you may not have foreseen, or new information becomes available. It's important to know when to implement changes to get back on track. This can be compared to detours on a road when you are driving towards a destination. Sometimes you have to turn down a road that takes you around the construction. In sailing, sometimes the wind is blowing you off course and you have to adjust the sail to compensate.....you catch the wind and let it push you in the direction you want to go. These things are just part of the process. You may not have expected the detour, or the winds, however, it's there and you have to deal with it. So follow the new route, go around, make adjustments and get back on track.

Most important is to be solution oriented. One of the reasons that people fail in business is they are not solution oriented and able to overcome challenges that come along. Challenges become stop signs for these individuals. Instead of looking at challenges as a stop sign, ask yourself questions:

-How can you find a solution to get around this?

-What haven't you done?

-Who could you get advice from?

-What else can you do?

Let's take an example. You have a retail shop in a tourist town. You open at the beginning of the season, the tourists keep your shop humming. But then in the off season, you find sales are dramatically down, bills are high, and you are in the hole each month. First, why are you surprised? If walk in traffic dramatically decreases at the end of the tourist season, you should have been thinking ahead on a plan of action to compensate. It is not too late, though, as long as you are willing to make adjustments, innovate and test new things. So ask yourself, what are you going to do about it? This is where a lot of inexperienced entrepreneurs fail, however, this is THE exciting part of being an entrepreneur! This is where YOU can actually DO something about it! Realize that when you work for an employer and this happens, you have no control, and you would be laid off or downsized. When you are self employed, it is up to you to create the business solutions. So ask yourself the questions above.

Cash flow may be low or non existent. What are you gong to do about it? Ask yourself those questions.

What are you going to do to appeal to your local clients? Have you thought about this market or have you been caught up with the tourists?

It's easy to do business when things are flowing easily, clients are coming into your shop, and purchases are being made. Get creative and innovative when things are slower. you could offer a "local's loyalty program". Reach out to the local market and become your local's favorite place to do business. For instance, a restaurant could offer different specials, Monday through Friday throughout the non tourist months.

How about doing business globally? Is it possible to ship your products to people around the world? How can social media and all the technology options allow you to get the message out to create new clients? Are people likely to be repeat clients? How can you generate future business from those tourists that already loved the experience of buying from you? Could you offer a mail order or online special? ASK yourself questions!!!! This allows the creative side of your brain to get to work finding solutions that don't seem obvious, but could be the stepping stones to exploding your business in a direction you hadn't thought of.

The key is to have the attitude "failure is NOT an option". Be solution oriented. Think outside the box. Be willing to innovate, create and implement new ideas and don't just sit around waiting for people to come to you. It is your responsibility to do what it takes to make your business work. Remember, it rarely goes exactly as planned....it is often in the challenges that we have the biggest breakthrough ideas that take the business to a level of success that you never imagined!

We live in a very connected world through the internet.  First impressions used to come from face to face interaction with people we met.  Today that is done very differently through platforms like social networking and websites.

How do you want to be known?   Do you see yourself as a professional?  Do you understand the importance of branding yourself properly to make the first impression strong enough that someone would want to know you and what you have to offer?

Profile pictures are one way to start.  A good headshot is necessary and should be congruent among all your different social networking sites so that when people visit different platforms they know for sure they have the right person.  A headshot should be a close up from the shoulders up, looking directly and confidently at the camera with a great smile.  A quick scan of profile photos on any social network will give you an idea.  Pay attention to YOUR first reaction when you see the back of someone's head, a body shot so far back you can't see their face, a cartoon,  or worse yet, no photo.  Would you be excited to meet or do business with any of these people?  It would be a shame to shoot yourself in the foot by not taking the time to put up a great headshot.  Note, this is not about being handsome or beautiful.  It is about looking the part of someone you would want to do business with.

Words used are often underestimated, in website copy, descriptions in about me sections, email addresses, etc.  For instance, I once met a psychologist that had a hobby of belly dancing.  Can you imagine her being taken professionally if her email address to clients was Janesbellydancing@gmail.com?   Look at the difference here:  Dr.Jane@gmail.com.  Words can make a big difference.

In our technologically connected world, it's important to give yourself the best chance for success.  We all know that first impressions are the starting point.  If the first impression is not good, you will be overlooked even if you are the most qualified.  It's really just about common sense.  You have to sell yourself first before people will listen to the value you offer.

Old style management still believes they must rule their employees with an iron fist, instilling fear to gain respect and results.  These bully style, ego driven managers  believe the constant threat of losing their jobs is what  brings out the best in people.  This may have worked in the industrial age, but it is not effective in today's work environment.

It's been stated that 75% of the workforce will be millennials by 2015.   This is a group that is more educated than previous generations, they are more confident, know what they want, will not put up with poor treatment and are not threatened by losing their jobs.  Thankfully, this generation is not a generation of followers, living in a fear based society, sacrificing what they deserve for a paycheck.

If todays employees really want to leave, they will leave. It is much better to develop a great culture and working environment where people feel valued, rather than building a fear based culture based on threats. When employees do leave a great culture and working environment, for whatever reason,  they can become your biggest cheerleaders.  With the power of the internet and social media, this is often the best free advertising a company could get.   How much more powerful is that for future growth than an ex employee that bad mouths your organization?

Old style management still believes they must rule their employees with an iron fist, instilling fear to gain respect and results.  These bully style, ego driven managers  believe the constant threat of losing their jobs is what  brings out the best in people.  This may have worked in the industrial age, but it is not effective in today's work environment.

It's been stated that 75% of the workforce will be millennials by 2015.   This is a group that is more educated than previous generations, they are more confident, know what they want, will not put up with poor treatment and are not threatened by losing their jobs.  Thankfully, this generation is not a generation of followers, living in a fear based society, sacrificing what they deserve for a paycheck.

If todays employees really want to leave, they will leave. It is much better to develop a great culture and working environment where people feel valued, rather than building a fear based culture based on threats. When employees do leave a great culture and working environment, for whatever reason,  they can become your biggest cheerleaders.  With the power of the internet and social media, this is often the best free advertising a company could get.   How much more powerful is that for future growth than an ex employee that bad mouths your organization?

We have all heard this phrase from reading Dr. Seuss books.  How many actually took these words to heart and live them daily in their lives?

I know of a young man living these words.  He works in a bank.  

When he started at the bank, he started part time as a teller, and wanted to move up.  He studied the company training manual on his lunch hour and after work.  He spent the first year working in 5-6 different branch locations, going wherever he was needed.  

He volunteers to fill in for employee's that are sick or on holidays by driving to different cities to fill in for them.  Whenever there is a need to be filled such as this, he is the first to volunteer to go.

He volunteers to represent his company at community charity events, by attending on his days off, getting up and speaking to the crowd about the company he represents.  He does this to practice his public speaking to become more comfortable, as well as a way to give back to the community he lives in.

I saw a picture in our local newspaper of volunteers at one of the events.  He was the only one, out of about 40 in the picture that was dressed up....everyone had t-shirts and casual pants on, he was in a suit because he wanted to professionally represent the company he works for.  He stood out, not because he is 6'4" and towered above everyone in the picture, but because he has this vibrant positive personality, great smile, and was dressed the part of who he is portraying. 

He wears a suit and tie every day to work, even though it is not expected.  On dress down day when everyone is wearing jeans, he wears a pair of dress jeans, shirt, tie and jacket.  

It may seem like he is a more mature worker, however, he is 25 years of age.   He does all of this not because he has to, because he wants to.  He is going the extra mile because he understands this principle...why fit in when you were born to stand out.  It is no surprise he is excelling at his career, and was promoted to assistant branch manager after the first year.

Clues for success in life and in business are all around us in everything we do.  Many times, these clues seem so simple they are overlooked.  Pull out a Dr. Seuss book, and share a quote that may have inspired you that other's may have missed.....

Last week we were receiving weather warnings for 24 hrs in advance of an upcoming storm the next day. 15 cm of snow and winds picking up to 50 km/hr. At 8 am, when people would be leaving for work commutes, the snow was already coming down hard and winds were picking up. It was clearly evident by simply looking outside, and checking the forecast, that no one should have been driving.

I spoke to an employee of a business out of town, and by 9:40 am, the employees in this business were all leaving to go back home, after being given "permission". How unfortunate that these people were not given the space to make a judgement call about the weather, and felt they had to risk the roads to go into work. How unfortunate that they were not confident enough in their own decisions. How unfortunate they chose to go in because they felt obligated and felt like they didn't have choice. There were several fatal accidents that morning. How unfortunate that those that lost their lives may have felt this way and were driving into a similar job.



These are precisely the type of things that lead to disengagement and dissatisfaction within an organization.

Why is it important to give employees the space to make good judgement calls?

-Builds trust - they will feel like doing more for a company that puts them first. They won't mind staying late for other projects down the road because they know the company appreciates them, and stands behind them.

-Builds confidence - they will perform better. When people are not given the space to make simple judgement calls, they lose confidence and this affects other areas of their performance. Build their confidence and they step into their own greatness and prove what they are capable of.

What did the snow day example demonstrate to employees?

-The decision makers couldn't make a simple judgement call before everyone risked their lives. This causes distrust.

-The company didn't truly care about their people. This causes resentment.

-Employees lives are not valued over profits. This causes disengagement and destroys company culture.

This is the reality of the message the employees feel in situations like this. They don't feel valued, they become disillusioned and distrust and resent the company.

Giving people the space to make responsible decisions helps them take ownership of those decisions, which builds their leadership, self esteem, confidence and personal responsibility. Respect and trust for the company goes up, it increases their level of happiness and job satisfaction, which leads to higher engagement and more productivity. A true win/win for both the company and the employee, which is how long term successful businesses are built.

Debbie Ruston - Success Educator & Home Business Mentor
http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140311225623-5397534-what-are-the-most-overlooked-questions-new-entrepreneurs-forget-to-ask-themselves  

It isn't how to write a business plan, how many staff to hire, or how to budget. There are obviously things like this to learn when running a business, however, the most important questions start before you get to that point.

Ask yourself - WHY do I want to be self employed? It isn't enough to say you don't like your boss. Although that may be a trigger that sets your entrepreneurial wheels in motion, it has to be more than that. So you don't like your boss. Join the crowd....most don't. So what makes your situation different and why are you leaving the perceived safety of having a job, to starting your own business? Take some time to think about this from your heart and take the time to really think this through. An example of how this could look: (you may want to print this page off, so you can go through this properly when you have time)

"I don't like my boss"

-List all the reasons you have made this statement

-Do you like the company, if not, list all the reasons

-Do you like your co-workers, if not, list all the reasons

-Do you like the work, if not, list all the reasons

*-If you did like the work, list all the reasons why you liked it

*-Is there work you would like to do you haven't had a chance to?

-could you change jobs and would that make a difference

-if not, why

*-why do you want a business instead of changing jobs?

-did you answer you want to make more money?

-why do you want to make more money?

-is that the most important thing to you?

-if yes, why?

*-look at your previous answer, and ask why?

*if not, what IS important to you?

*-what are your ideas, interests, skills, passions experience?

These questions will uncover to you the real reason you want to start a business. It is very revealing when you take the time to go through this exercise. Understanding why you want to become a business owner, and what brought you to this spot will assist you in deciding what type of business to start. Too often people choose a business because they really don't know what else to do and they have not done this preliminary reflecting. For instance, a person may start a franchise. They don't realize the limitations and long hours they would be putting in, and the amount of time it will take to pay off that investment. That may not be the solution they actually wanted.

This person may want a business to stop working the long hours they are putting in at their job. To start a franchise that will require long hours would not be the best solution to achieve the goal of more family time, and will most likely cause even more stress and frustration for the individual and their family, because that would also require a substantial investment. This leaves the franchise owner feeling like they have to work long hours to pay off the investment.

To make a better choice, look at the answers to the questions that have a * beside them. It's important to identify what you are not happy with, what you really love, your underlying motivating factor (as in being with your family more), what's truly important, ideas, interests, skills, passions and experience. This will allow you to explore from the heart the direction you should be taking. You will find answers here that you hadn't previously considered. This will allow you to do work that is meaningful and fulfilling to you. You will truly understand the real reasons you are taking this step and be able to make better choices.

You don't learn these things in business school. This comes from real world experience, from those that have walked the walk, been through the challenges, learned from their mistakes, overcome adversity and those that have been willing to do what ti takes for as long as it takes. If you are contemplating entrepreneurship, take the time to think these things through...you will be happier with the outcome.

Regardless of whether we are talking about business, relationships or dieting, many people are accustomed to buying into their own excuses.   Why is it that someone can state they want to achieve something, yet, when it comes to taking action, they don't follow through?

-They were not committed in the first place - There is a difference between wanting something and actually committing to it.  You can want to lose weight, but unless you are willing to implement proper eating and exercise, you will not reach the goal.   This must be something an individual is willing to do for as long as it takes.  That is commitment.


-They don't have confidence in their ability to achieve the goal - Confidence comes from doing.  I remember the first time I was invited to speak at a business function.  I was not confident, I was actually quite the opposite and was a nervous wreck for months prior to the speaking engagement.  Something I learned a lot time ago though, was to keep stepping out of my comfort zone.    So even though I didn't feel confident as I spoke the first time, and probably a dozen times after that, I kept accepting the invitation to grow.  I kept stepping out of that comfort zone until I did feel confident. 

-Afraid of making a mistake -  Understand you will make some mistakes along the way.  That is ok, learn to embrace those mistakes and realize they are opportunities to learn, not mistakes.  When you learn by doing something the wrong way, you are also privileged to learn the right way, or in many cases, a new way that no one else has thought of.  This gives a new distinction in thinking you may not have realized had you simply done it the way everyone else does.  Also learn to lighten up an don't take yourself so seriously.  No one is perfect...mistakes are made.  Take responsibility and move forward.

-Attempting to be perfect - The challenge with being perfect, is the procrastination that takes place in pursuit of perfectionism.  Perfectionism cannot be maintained long term.  Strive for excellence instead and get out of procrastination and into action.


-They want results yesterday and are not willing to stay the course - Anything worthwhile takes time.  The world is full of people that just want the short cuts.  Although some will have short term success with this approach, long term success is built by doing the right things with a high level of ethics and integrity and staying the course, continually taking persistent action steps towards the goal.


-They have fears that are stopping them -  Many people stop in their tracks when fear arises and don't take the actions required, because they are too afraid.  Fear is something that every single person feels.  The difference between those that achieve their goals and those that don't, is successful people have learned to push through fear, understanding that fear disappears when you have the courage to face it.  


-They have limiting beliefs about what they are capable of - This is where desire comes in.  There are always going to be situations where you will think that you can't do something, that it is beyond your capability.  There is nothing a person cannot do provided they are willing to learn.


-They don't allow for adversity - With success, you will also experience adversity.  It is simply part of the process that all successful people experience. This is often where people give up, because they have bought the excuse that something went wrong, or it was too hard, and don't realize they have to push through this.   

Ask yourself who you are being?  The person that buys into one or more of these excuses, or, the person that is committed and willing to push through to achieve the result you want.  Identifying your excuse is the first step to conquering it.

Do you feel like you have to have everything perfectly figured out in advance?  Do you find that you procrastinate and don't take the actions you know you should?  Would you consider yourself a perfectionist?   Do you analyze everything to death?   Do you feel like you are often stalled and taking no action is the result because you have so much analysis going on in your mind?  How many times have you been stalled in the action steps you should be taking because you are attempting to figure out every possible step and outcome in advance?  Something I have learned to do is to always just take the next step to bring you closer to where you want to be.

We can't predict what the future is, or what taking a particular step will result in.  We can pre plan it in our mind, but very often it is not quite what we envisioned.  It is during the process of taking the step that we often figure out the next step to take,  as a result of something that may have happened during that process.  For instance, we decide to contact someone as our next step and during the conversation with that person, you learn some valuable new information, that gives you a new step to take which you couldn't possibly have known to take in advance.  Sometimes, it is a course correction that you couldn't have known to take, without this new information you gained from the last conversation.

As I have taken these steps consistently, I have often paused to look back and thought I couldn't possibly have imagined these new steps would present themselves as opportunity.  Some of the things that have happened have amazed me, and I didn't imagine would have come along.  Very often, I didn't even know these new things I have come across existed until I got to that spot of learning and being introduced to the new idea.    Understanding this concept takes the pressure off of pre planning and feeling like you have to have the whole picture figured out perfectly.    And very often it turns out better than you even imagined when you first started out towards the goal.   Just taking the next step with intention reveals the next step to take.  So simple, it is often overlooked.

How have you seen this play out in your action steps?

Isn't in interesting how often people want to give us advice that are not qualified to give us that specific advice, yet before we understand this concept, we often have the experience where we give in to their beliefs instead of our own.
Here's an example:  A young woman wants to start her own business and leave her nursing career, but  a "well meaning" co-worker is attempting to discourage her stating that most businesses fail.  This is an employee giving advice on what it takes to be successful in business.  This person has never been a business owner, yet is attempting to advise on this subject.   She is not qualified to give advice, and has no experience or credibility in the subject area.  She is giving advice based on what she has "heard", not on what she has experience in.  Yet, this happens to people every day....they take "well meaning" advice from people in their lives that have no business giving them advice because they have not had success in that area.  

So many people are talked out of their dreams every day because of this type of "well meaning" individual.  It is such a simple concept - only take advice from those that have had success in the area you want to improve upon.  If you want to build a stronger more loving marriage, ask the couple who has the best relationship you know.  If you want to advance in your career, ask the person that has done what you want to do.  Learning not to take advice from these stoppers in our lives is one of the best ways to build trust in your own decisions.  

Without identifying specifics, share what category your biggest stopper was - 

-a family member
-a friend
-a co-worker
-an educator or coach (sports or other)

This will assist others in recognizing how we are surrounded by stoppers in our closest circles, but despite that, we can choose to step outside of the advice they give and create success anyway.

Many years ago, I learned a concept called Know For Yourself.    Know for yourself is learning to break the habit of needing other people's opinions and approval,  and learning to trust your own internal judgments..  You learn to build autonomy, and  move away from masses thinking, because imitating the masses builds a life of conformity. 

Know for yourself is a concept  that I feel I had been searching for all my life.  I have always had my own thoughts and opinions, but I felt that I wasn't capable enough to really accept my thoughts as being correct for me.
This really comes from all the past conditioned beliefs we are taught growing up.  We are taught to take certain experts words and advice as the only correct answer.  Much frustration can set in for individuals when you feel deep down your intuition is telling you something, but you are overriding it because a perceived expert or guru knows better.  

An example may be something as simple as your doctor telling you to get the flu shot.  There has been so much fear instilled into society over the last few years about the need to get the flu shot.  Doctors suggest it every time you are in the office.  The drug stores offer it, there are ads in magazines, tv, etc.   There are signs everywhere you go, including the airport!  People line up for hours to get their flu shot because someone in a white coat has told them they should, and without question, they buy into it.

I have an uncle that had the flu shot when it first came out, and within days he became a vegetable, at age 60, and has been in a nursing home ever since, barely recognizing anyone and unable to care for himself.  This, along with my understanding of know for yourself, was a re-confirmation that despite what a Dr. may tell me I need, I  do my own research and take full responsibility for my health.  Whenever I have anything at all that needs to be addressed with my health, I fully research online to read and educate myself on all the possibilities and solutions before I walk into a Dr.'s office.  I want to be as informed as possible before I simply "accept" the recommendation given, so that I can ask informed questions, and make my own choices.   The interesting thing I have observed, is every year my Dr. asks me if I want the flu shot.  Every year I remind him about my uncle.  Every year it is like I am telling him this story for the first time.    I look at the generation before me, and how many never think to question a doctor.  People are told to take medication and in many cases, they have 6-8 bottles of pills sitting on their counter and have no idea what any of them are for, and why they are taking them.   It is a lack of personal confidence and not realizing they can ask questions.  Many feel that they could never question someone with "authority".  No one will ever care about your own health and well being as much as you.  Taking full responsibility for our health is just one more area of life that the principle of know for yourself comes into play.