I read an article recently, and there was a statement in the article that is the cause of many failed opportunities in all areas of life. "They cave in and join the herd".
"The herd" is the perceived"normal". The herd is the thinking that most in society have been conditioned to believe is the correct spot to be. If you think and take actions outside of the herd mentality, those within the herd question your thinking to such an extent, that it destroys your belief, confidence and personal certainty to move forward in a different direction.
Nothing happens within the herd. This is conforming to mediocrity, and in many cases, an example of an old saying, misery loves company. Society is conditioned to believe this is safe, when in fact, it is one of the biggest reasons people give up on the futures they truly want to create. You may have personally experienced this, or perhaps you have been a member of the herd that is holding someone back. How do you identify this?
-You have an idea and share it with someone important in your life - that person questions and squashes the idea to such an extent, you give up and don't pursue the idea, and conform back to "what is normal", or "traditional thinking". Although you have the agreement of others in the herd when you conform back, it doesn't feel right for you inside.
-You feel frustrated and a lack of personal control - people often feel unhappy and unfulfilled inside and can't identify why. Some may think they suffer from depression, and although that could be part of it, many times an individual is living their life by someone else's agenda. It may be working a job you don't like, spending time with people that you do not resonate with, or feeling like you don't have choice. This feeling of a lack of control in your life, leads to unhappiness, stress, anger, and feeling unfulfilled.
-Take a look at your life and your results - is it the same as everyone you know? Is it the way you want it to be? If it is the same as everyone you are surrounded with, and it's not what you want, it is a sign you are living in the herd.
-Are you guilty of holding someone else back? - has someone shared ideas with you and you have given them feedback on why it isn't a good idea? Perhaps someone you know wanted to go a new direction, start a new job, go back to school, write a book, end a relationship, start a business, get in shape, run a marathon, etc. If you feel you gave them advice that indicated they should not leave the "safety" of the job they hate, or the relationship that is abusive, or told them it's too late to go back to school because they have responsibilities, or it's too risky to start a business, or this is the way it is.....they have made their bed and now must accept it, then you are attempting to hold people back in the herd, because of your own insecurities. That may be hard to accept, but it is exactly what happens.
Once you identify if you are conforming to the herd, the next step is to learn how to take your own path.
-Surround yourself with new people that are supportive of the direction you want to take.
-Thank the "well meaning" people in your life that are giving you advice that does not resonate with the direction you want to take, and be willing to go against "popular opinion". Sometimes you have to love people from a distance to honor yourself and the new path you want to take.
-TRUST yourself. We have intuition for a reason. It is to guide us to make decisions that are right for our lives. The key is to trust and listen to this inner voice, and take the actions to support the direction you are being guided to take.
-Be willing to stand alone in your vision and know you will get negative feedback, it is simply part of the process that anyone that makes this choice does experience. Success is created by being willing to just push through it and not let it control or direct you. By being willing to take this stand for the life you want to create, you will meet and align with new people that see what you envision and will become part of your support system.
Listen and trust your inner voice. It is the key to breaking out of the herd and creating the life you truly want to be living.
Debbie Ruston - Entrepreneur - International Trainer, Visionary Leader