BELIEF is necessary to succeed in all aspects of life. No matter what we are engaging in, without belief we will not have the desired result we are looking for.
-Selling a product or service – The most effective sales people are those that absolutely believe in what they are offering. Energy is transmitted throughout the dialogue a sales person has with a client. Two sales people can be saying the same words, even following a pre written script….those that actually believe in and are excited about what they are offering will always outperform those that are just selling to make a living.
– Relationships – Everyone has experienced a relationship that didn’t work out. If someone is in a relationship with a person that does not have common goals, beliefs, values, etc., the chance of the relationship lasting dwindles as the belief in spending a lifetime together just doesn’t seem possible. On the other hand, when you are in sync with someone, believing you will have a long term relationship is just automatic, you don’t even have to think about it. It is effortless and just flows.
– Losing weight/getting in shape – This is an area of life so many struggle with. We hear phrases such as “it’s in my genes”, or “I’ve tried, but I can’t lose weight”, etc. If one does not believe they are capable of being in shape, they will find every excuse in the book to support that belief. On the other hand, those that believe they can reach their desired weight, will make decisions and take actions that support their goal. These people make sure they grocery shop responsibly and don’t buy food that would temp them. These people think about what they are cooking, eating, they make conscious decisions to exercise regularly and don’t buy their own excuses. They believe they are capable of reaching their ideal weight and then make decisions that support this.
– Sports – People engage in sports everyday, and then some don’t. What is the difference? Some fully enjoy the sport they choose and regardless of how proficient they are, or how busy they may be, they believe it will bring them joy so they want to spend time engaging in it. On the other hand, someone that has no interest in sports, will have no belief in their ability to spend time participating in something they don’t have interest in.
– Cooking – Would you invite someone over for a big fancy dinner? If you wouldn’t you might believe you are not a good cook and are not capable of putting on a fine dinner for others. Those that throw dinner parties don’t have to think about it…they just believe they will put on a great dinner.
If you are engaging in something and not experiencing the result you desire, ask yourself where your belief is? Do you actually believe in what you are doing? If not, it may be time to course correct, and either learn what it takes to be more proficient, or take a new direction. Getting authentic with yourself in this way removes a lot of underlying challenges such as stress, unhappiness, feeling inadequate, etc. Build your belief, and you build your results….
Many years ago I found myself working harder and harder and not getting the results I wanted. I got to the point where I realized I couldn't physically work any harder, but more importantly, didn't want to. Sound familiar?
This was a great lesson that I have been able to apply to all aspects of my life. I also learned that everyone and everything is our teacher. The key is to be open to the messages as they present themselves, and implement the knowledge you gain.
A powerful distinction to be aware of is:
WHERE YOU ARE TODAY, IS A RESULT OF YOUR BEST THINKING.
In order to grow in a new or better direction, you must continue to learn, and, be willing to let go of the best thinking that brought you to this point.....
Let's look at a couple of examples:
In that situation I was working about 80 hr/wk. I was tired, I was frustrated, and I was burning out. My belief was that if I just worked harder (which we are conditioned to believe is the solution), it would give me the result I wanted. However, I couldn't work harder, and didn't want to keep this pace up. It was only when I came to this realization, that I also realized my very best thinking was NOT working. This can be demotivating, or, actually inspire you. When you authentically admit to yourself your best thinking isn't working, you also open yourself up to new possibilities. This is where the lesson comes in - learn from those that are getting the result you want.
I had a conversation recently with someone struggling with their career. They were doing the best they knew (best thinking). What they hadn't considered was learning from a mentor, asking better questions, learning and implementing new ideas, leaving their old thinking behind, and being willing to embrace new ideas and principles. You could physically see the difference this made when this individual gained this new hope.
Several years ago, I had a conversation with someone that was concerned about their employment. At that time, their best thinking was they would be at the company until they retired (this was 20 years prior to retirement age). When the threat of downsizing became apparent, it brought out a new side of this person I had never seen. They decided to buy a business and create their own job security instead of being a "victim" of downsizing. This person is thriving personally, happier than they have ever been and thriving in this business. They decided to let go of their previous "best thinking" which was I need to have an employer and stay there until I retire because I can't do anything else at my age. They replaced their previous "best thinking" with a new way of thinking....a more SELF RELIANT way of thinking. "I am going to buy a business since my job is being eliminated". Such a simple shift in thinking, but has changed everything in a positive direction for them.
Another person I spoke to recently has a business, but it is very physical work. They are very experienced in this field and we talked about the knowledge they have that is very valuable in their industry. They have now found a new way to work that is branching out of their existing business, and utilizing the knowledge base they have to grow their business. Like the experience I had, they realize it isn't about working physically harder. It is about learning to think differently to bring about a different or better result.
As Einstein said...."The definition of insanity is doing the same things, expecting different results"
Debbie Ruston - Entrepreneur - International Trainer, Visionary Leader