Do you have a tough time with decisions? We hear, or say, things like "I'm not sure what to do, or which way to go". We seek the advice and/or approval of those around us in order to make decisions and many do not have the confidence to make a decision without checking with someone else. Have you ever wanted to make a decision to go a certain direction but upon checking with someone else you took a totally different path because you found more confidence in the other persons opinion than your own? You don't need a crystal ball or a guru....you have the answers within your heart.
If you find yourself changing direction or not following through on what you want, this should be a "red flashing" warning light for you, and where many people steer wrong, and wonder why they are not feeling happy, fulfilled or successful in their lives. The reason is, you do not feel you are in control. You are living your life by someone elses agenda, ideas, rulebook or definition. Trusting your gut (or intuition) is vitally important for success. Our intuition is there to guide us in the right direction. The error many make is letting their heads get in the way of where their hearts are guiding them. This shows up in different ways, however, there are solutions that will help you get around it and become more proficient in your decision making.
-Someone close to you advises you to make a different decision - This is one of the biggest reasons people do not make effective decisions. Ask yourself is this person experienced in this particular area? Do they have the results in their own life to give them credibility in giving you advice? Thank them for their kind concerns, but understand they are not qualified to advise you.
-You are on the fence and don't know what way to go - Ask yourself what will change if you do make the decision, and what will change if you don't. You will most likely determine nothing will change if you don't make the decision. That is a sign to reassess if you want a new or different result. Nothing changes by continuing on the same path doing the same things, while expecting a different result. As Einstein said, this is the definition of insanity. You can also look at the reason you are hesitating - is it from fear or limiting beliefs, or are you allowing #1, someone close to you giving you advice and you are not trusting yourself?
-You feel anxious, worrying you will make a mistake - Stop looking for guarantees. We have the answers within our hearts. Trust yourself and then pull out all the stops to go forward in the direction your heart is telling you.
-You put off making the decision - This comes down to trusting yourself. It is one thing to sleep on something to weigh all the options, it is another thing to procrastinate and stay on the fence. Not making a decisions one way or the other, is making a decision to stay stuck.
-You trust others opinions more than your own - How can anyone know more about what is right for you, than YOU? A great exercise is to journal...get your thoughts on paper and be willing to be totally authentic with yourself. Journal about what you truly want in your life and then be willing to ask yourself what you need to do to create it. Then, be willing to leave your fears, limiting beliefs, past conditioning behind, make a bold decision that supports what you want, and take the action steps necessary to create it.
-You base your decision on other people's failures - You have heard "stories" about this or that happening to someone else, very often THROUGH someone else. We CREATE our own realities. It does not matter if someone else had a bad experience with something. Learn WHY they did, and use that knowledge to go forward without falling into the same errors. Usually it is a lack of commitment, planning, making effective decisions, their own fears and limitations they have put on themselves that has caused them to fail. They are not YOU. Learn from things others have done that are effective, don't give in to the excuses those that have failed use.
Looking at all the options and then trusting your gut based on that information is a great combination for decision making. A simple question that will assist with this is "will this decision bring me closer or further away from my goal?" If it would bring you further away, you are making the wrong decision, quite often a fear based decision. This is the time to course correct, and make the decision that brings you toward your goal. This simple question was life changing for me. It allowed me to shine the light on errors I was about to make so that I could make a conscious decision to course correct.
Something important to recognize is that making bold powerful decisions and trusting yourself does not totally eliminate the feeling you may not know what to do, and may have fear associated with it. It is part of the process. What you will learn though, is that when you are willing to make these type of bold, courageous decisions, trusting yourself, and take the next step that supports your goal, you will figure it out along the way.
Debbie Ruston - Entrepreneur - International Trainer, Visionary Leader